


unrequited (Jean x reader)

by Avatarkyoshi



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, College Student Eren Yeager, College Student Jean Kirstein, College Student Mikasa Ackerman, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends With Benefits, Jealousy, Love Triangles, Slow Burn, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, eventual smut but thats quite a few chapters away
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29402208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avatarkyoshi/pseuds/Avatarkyoshi
Summary: You have a debilitating crush on popular campus playboy Eren Yaeger. Jean finds his advances at trying to get Mikasa are leading him absolutely nowhere. You're surprised to find yourselves facing a similar struggle, if only there was a way you could both help each other out...
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader, Jean Kirstein/Reader
Comments: 154
Kudos: 393





	1. hanging out at Eren's

"Look, come _on_ you need a break from that assignment, everyone's hanging out at Eren's you _have_ to come!" Mikasa resorted to pleading you, tugging at your T-shirt in desperation. 

You sighed. It was unlike Mikasa to be so desperate to socialise, but the mention of _his_ name made it all clear. He was also precisely the reason you _didn't_ want to hang out with everyone. But you caved when you looked back at Mikasa, who you noticed had already dressed up and gotten ready for the event. She was wearing a cute black dress, with a corset fastened on top, true to her edgy alternative aesthetic. She looked stunning you admitted to yourself, and couldn't help feeling envious of how she looked flawless in every outfit she wore.

The thing was you owed Mikasa, big time, and this was the least you could do for her. You surrendered, closing the plethora of tabs on your laptop and stood up from your chair, stretching and yawning. Your eyes flitted to your phone as you checked the time. Shit, you barely had any time to get ready. Reaching into your mess of a closet your hands stopped as a familiar feel of cotton and frills brushed over your hands. Subconsciously, you remembered it was a dress Eren had called "cute" one drunken and forgotten night, and instinctually reached for it. It was a floral and frilly thing, a mini dress that cinched your waist and had a print that could be best described as grandmothers-curtains aesthetic. Still, it was one of your go-to's and it had the uncommon quality of making you feel irresistible whenever you wore it. 

Your makeup look was hastily done, but you didn't dwell on it too much, your eyeliner looked somewhat identical and your acne was concealed so it was good enough for today. An oversized bomber jacket completed the look as you rushed out, only vaguely aware of the fact that Mikasa had already left without you. Panting you rushed over to her, and she smiled and slowed to let you catch up. She was always such a fast-walker. Eren and Jean's dorm was only a ten minute walk from yours, so you chatted along the way, mildly aware of how cold the air felt against your bare legs. 

You let your eyes wonder as you hummed in response to Mikasa talking, well, ranting about Eren. You loved Mikasa, she was such a good person and such a reliable friend to you, probably the best you'd ever had, but every time she brought him up you couldn't help the tight feeling in your chest. See, the thing was, Eren and Mikasa had been childhood best friends, high school best friends, and now they were at the same in college. And throughout all these years Mikasa has maintained an insufferable and consuming crush on him. Moments after being introduced to him by Mikasa, who was merely a roommate at the time, you knew you were doomed. You see, the problem was you'd fallen victim to the same fate. You had also developed a debilitating crush on Eren Yaeger. 

Listening to her talk about him was, honestly, painful at times but you'd grown somewhat accustomed to it at this point. Still, at times, you could feel your patience wearing thin and you' accidentally snap at her, blaming it on your period, stress or something trivial along those lines. You could feel that familiar feeling rise in your chest and you steadied your breathing to counteract it, sighing in relief when you stopped just outside his building. 

Walking into his room you were greeted with familiar faces, which were all turning to look at you. You ticked off the names of everyone mentally. In the corner was Sasha, feasting on a burger, no doubt an order was placed seconds after her arrival. Seated next to her was Niccolo who was watching her eat with a distant look in his eye. You notice he was wearing his work clothes (he'd probably come straight from a shift at the restaurant he worked at, you thought to yourself). Connie and Jean were in another corner sharing a joint, which explained the mild smell of weed (to be honest there wasn't a time you could think of that Eren's dorm wasn't perfumed with the scent). Eren was seated on his bed, his legs folded and his hands tucked in to the crook of his neck, absent-mindedly nodding along to Armin, who was deep into a detailed explanation about, something, you guessed from the intense look on his face. Noticing you enter the room, Eren's face lit up with an easy smile. 

You tried to ignore the way your cheeks heated up at the way his eyes slowly trailed down to check you both out, something he always did, to everyone, you forced yourself to remember. Still, it was insanely difficult not to be entranced by that hungry look on his face, the way his mouth parted to make way for his tongue to lightly wet his bottom lip. Or the way his hair was messily half-tied up, a few brunette strands falling free to frame his face. You noticed eyes were slightly bloodshot, a trademark part of his look, he was a stoner after all. 

"Finally some hot people in this room, now the ratios up, three to .." Eren paused for a moment to count. "six?" Connie shot Eren a dirty look and took another drag from the joint, leaning over to blow the smoke in Eren's face. 

You forced out a casual-sounding chuckle and looked around for a place to sit, trying to subdue the hammering heartbeat in your chest. You face hung low as you crouched into position next to Mikasa, hoping it would obscure the inevitable blush in your cheeks. You hated that he had this effect on you, hated the way your deluded brain ate up all his honeyed words with longing, the way he left you feeling pathetic and desperate. And that was just the result of one sentence.

"Wait, now there's enough people to play seven minutes in heaven" Connie spoke as though struck by some life-changing realisation, his eyes widening at the thought. 

There was a collective groan from the group, and you gulped. You weren't sure if you were strong enough to do this. You reached for a beer bottle and chugged a considerable amount, hoping that it would help dull your anxiety and take the edge off a little. 

"Sure" Eren shrugs, shuffling off his bed to sit in the middle of the room. 

"I don't mind" Mikasa immediately chirps in and shifts closer, so that she's sitting right next to him. 

"Fine, let's do it I guess" Jean abandons his corner and moves towards the centre of the room, taking a seat next to Mikasa.

All of you gathered to sit in a lopsided circle, an empty beer bottle placed in the middle as the determiner. You eyes wandered around the circle, sizing everyone up. Sure, you were only in your second semester in your freshmen year of college, so there was nothing inherently permanent about your group of friends, but they were comfortable enough to be around. You'd grown used to them. Eyeing up your contenders, your eyes stopped for a moment at Connie. He was funny and not too bad to look at, his buzzcut, honestly, suited him, although it wasn't for you. Armin was the complete antithesis of Connie. Soft lines and delicate shapes, you couldn't deny that he was beautiful. Once, when you asked him to help you study for something, you's caught yourself staring at him distracted by his blue eyes. Niccolo was cute enough, you admitted, his blonde hair was curly and he had a nice jawline. He was obviously infatuated with Sasha though. You couldn't trust yourself to look at Eren, so you skipped over to Jean. Absolutely not, something about that man deeply irritated you, it was probably the way he... 

"... and y/n" Connie's voice woke you from your reverie. 

"Huh" you said dumbly, looking confused and dazed. You'd completely missed the first part of the name-choosing and were shocked back to reality upon hearing your name. 

"Jean and you. In the closet. Seven minutes. I'm gonna start the timer". Connie said urgently, he got weirdly serious when it came to these types of things. You had only met up with the group at large a handful of times and admittedly this was the first time you had ever played this specific game. You could feel your heart start to pick up its pace again, and felt a telltale tremor work its way to your hands. Without looking at Jean, you grabbed, hoping it was yours, a beer bottle and chugged again, hoping it would surge some confidence into your veins. 

You turned to face Jean and found a familiar feeling of anger rising in your chest. Of course _he_ looked as unbothered and unaffected as ever.

Of course it had to be _him_. 


	2. seven minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seven minutes in heaven with Jean... doesn't pass the way that you think it would.

It was hard to place your finger on why Jean made you feel as angry as you did. You'd never had any terrible experiences with him to hold up as proof. Clambering into the closet, you racked your mind through all the experiences you'd had with the boy you were going to spend seven minutes alone in a closet with. You'd always avoid him when you all hung out as a group, and whenever an argument would arise, you'd find yourselves on opposing sides. Something about him rubbed you the wrong way, that was it. He just seemed too blunt, too rude. He was also undoubtedly a fuckboy, you'd definitely overheard him talk about girls he slept with dismissively. That had to be it. 

You turned to face him and were amused to see his expression. He had a bored look on his face, at least both of you wished you were anywhere else but in this cramped closet. The door of the closet shut behind and now you could barely make out his face, only flickers of light trickled in from the hinges of the closet door. As if on cue, Jean turns on the flashlight in his phone, placing it in the gap between the two of you. 

His face was more visible now. He, like Eren, left his hair grow long, and it was a dirty blonde colour that tickled his T shirt collar. He didn't tie his hair up but rather parted it at the side, tucking the long strands behind his ears as an undercut peaked from behind his blonde locks. He had a sharp jawline, shadowed by blonde stubble, and long eyebrows that framed his intense brown eyes. He had on a faded band tee and a silver chain necklace half obscured by the collar of his shirt. He was definitely a fuckboy, you concluded. He looked the part. 

Calling him ugly would straight up be a lie, but he definitely wasn't your type. 

"So when are you going to admit that you want Eren to fuck you?" He cocks his head to the side, the question phrased as casually as though he was asking for your surname. 

"Umm... What?" You struggle to find words, hit with whiplash by his statement. 

"You like him." He continues matter-of-factly. 

Of all the things you'd expected to happen in a closet alone with Jean, having your mind read and your secrets spilled was definitely not on the list. 

"N-no I don't, why would you..." There was no hiding it. You were left stuttering and flustered, unable to coherently deny it. 

You rack your mind for a witty response, grasping at straws. You come up with something thats only a half-baked guess, but it was all you had. 

"Well, y-you like Mikasa." You didn't have sufficient evidence for your claim, except the way Jean would sometimes look at her, or the way he'd laugh a little bit too hard at her jokes, or the way he'd make sure to always sit next to her... The more you thought about it the more you managed to convinced yourself. 

If you weren't convinced before, the look on Jean's face told you everything you needed to know.

A moment of silence passes, so there was a way to shut him up. With newfound confidence, you continue:

"You know she likes Eren" you feel immediately guilty the minute the words leave your lips, but you can't help the rush of adrenaline that courses through you. You had the upper hand. Sorry Mikasa, you say to yourself in your head. 

"Of course I know that, everyone fucking knows that, deep down even he knows that but he doesn't want to fuck up their friendship. He can't commit to anything so he'd just end up breaking her heart" His voice is thick with emotion. 

You gulp, you didn't expect him to respond like this. You recognise something in his pain and yearning, similar to your own feelings. Unrequited love sucks, and liking someone you're not supposed to like feels suffocating. Were you relating to Jean Kirstein?

"I get you" you concede and search his brown eyes. He looks up from the floor and meets your gaze, his eyes feel as though they are piercing right through you and you struggle to maintain eye contact. 

"We're both fucked" He smirks at you, the familiar rude and sleazy Jean that you knew resurfacing. 

"Yup" You sigh. An air of awkwardness enters the small closet. Despite being fully clothed you both feel vulnerable with your feelings on display to one another. 

You shuffle in your mini-dress, conscious of how the skirt has ridden up your thighs. You tug at the hem and fiddle with the lace, looking at the floor.

A couple minutes pass in silence and you find yourself getting lost in your thoughts. 

"What if... we dated?" Jean's face has lit up, poising the question as if it were a work of genius. 

You shake your head, utterly confused. 

"You know, we pretended to date, so that they would get jealous?" He explains it and rolls his eyes, as if it were the most obvious thing. 

"No" you immediately reject him. It was a stupid idea. Something that sounded like it was straight out of a rom-com. Something that was bound to get messy and complicated. You didn't need to get involved in something like that. What you needed was to get over this stupid crush. 

"Why, it might work?" Jean persists. 

"Absolutely not" You repeat, as though convincing yourself as well as him. 

"Time's up" 

Connie's voice surprises the both of you, and you sigh in relief. You had an escape from this uncomfortable awkwardness and you could now both go about your lives as though nothing out of the ordinary had ever happened. Of course this depended on the unspoken promise that you would keep one another's secret. For some reason you trusted Jean would stay true to his word, even if he hadn't ever technically given his word. And if he ever did threaten to spill, you had your own arsenal of blackmail material against him. 

You emerged from the closet and were bombarded by questions, which all went unanswered as you blinked your eyes, adjusting to the brightness of the room. You ignored everyone's comments and teasing and returned to sit next to Mikasa.

Jean adopted a similar tactic and just shrugged everything off, and you were impressed by the fact he didn't crack given the way Connie was drilling him with questions. 

Mikasa too, was unconvinced. 

"What happened, you can tell me, you know I won't tell anyone?" She whispered in your ear with a giggle. 

"Nothing" You smiled and refused to submit to even her relentless questioning. 

Still, you found it hard to look at Jean and avoided looking in his direction for the rest of the night. 


	3. walk home

The night went on as normal.

Jean stole several looks in your direction, but you couldn't figure out whether he was looking at you or his crush right beside you. Everyone gave up asking you guys and what happened between you remained an enigma. They all moved on the next best thing. And the evening was providing everyone with plenty of drama.

Your favourite memory of the night was when Niccolo and Sasha stumbled out of the closet, Niccolo sporting a suspiscious looking ketcup stain on the side of his neck. You had all laughed so much, falling into fits when Sasha kept denying everything.

Mikasa and Eren didn't end up going in the closet together, and you were guiltily relieved they hadn't. You don't know whether you'd be able to conceal your heartbreak in front of everyone. You doubted Jean would have a great time too. Not Jean, why were you thinking about him?

As the night progressed you realised Mikasa was getting more and more drunk. She had a tendency to drink herself unconscious whenever she hung out with Eren, you didn't know if it was because of nerves or if she was trying to impress him. Still, tonight was on of those nights. Only a few drinks in and your left shoulder was being used as a headrest, Mikasa was also a lightweight.

It was slowly approaching that time of night, well technically day, for everyone to part ways. You were only vaguely aware of the goodbyes gestured in your direction, your own eyelids heavy with fatigue. The slam of the door jolted you awake and you were startled to realise only Jean and Eren, the original inhabitants of the dorm, were left.

You shifted uncomfortably under Mikasa's weight. No doubt you were going to have to carry her all the way home. At this right, you were ready to book an uber back. Barely a minute into you struggling to lift her up did you feel the weight feel considerably lighter. Eren was helping you carry her, swiftly swinging one of her arms across his shoulder.

"Want me to walk home with you guys?" Eren shot you one of his shiver-inducing grins.

"Yes" you almost bit your tongue to stop yourself from saying please, you didn't want to come across as desperate.

You took a quick look back at Jean who was staring distantly out his window, a faraway look in his eye. Noticing you he smiled in a way that suggested he knew something that you didn't, and it unnerved you. You shrugged it off and turned away refusing to say goodbye to him. It was childish, but it was Jean you were talking to.

Eren and you made your out of his dorm room and shuffled your way down the stairs awkwardly, Mikasa pressed in between your shoulders. 

The second you pushed your way outside, you realised you were unprepared for the cold air. You had slung your bomber jacket across Mikasa's shoulders absent mindedly before leaving the apartment. Which left your arms bare and vulnerable. Mikasas coat was somewhere in Erens room, you mused, longing for another layer on your shivering skin, now prickling with goosebumps.

"Do you want to wear my coat?" Eren chuckled, you're shivering wasn't as discreet as you thought it was.

You hadn't even noticed Eren pulling a coat on, but now you looked longingly at the worn leather jacket. 

"Yes please" the 'please' came out automatically but you couldn't stop yourself, and you almost cried with happines when he swiftly removed the coat and handed it over to you.

"Sorry... I mean thank you" you said, but it came out muffled as the collar of the jacket jutted in front of your mouth, you folded it over away from your face.

"No problem" the smile he greeted you with came so easily, so effortlessly and you couldn't help but smile back.

"Your dress is cute, probably not the right season for it, though" 

You knew he thought the dress was cute. That was the reason you had picked it out to wear. He was right though, but that thought hadn't crossed your mind in your desperate attempts to impress him. 

Eren was so charming. It was so easy to get lost in it. The best thing you could compare him to was a hot chocolate drink. One that was so sweet, it would rot your teeth, and so hot, that it burned your tongue in a way that left your tongue tastless for days, but still you couldn't stop drinking it because it tasted so fucking good. That was what it was like being around Eren. You knew you were deluding yourself, and you knew you would be the only one who got hurt, and he'd walk away unscathed. But that didn't change how good it felt. No wonder Mikasa had been a sucker for so long.

Thinking about Mikasa immediately filled you with guilt. Jeans comment from earlier drifted back to memory. What was it that he said again? Something like Eren know about how Mikasa felt about him, but he didn't want to mess up their freindship with a relationship? You had been several drinks deep at that so your memory was fuzzy. It was something you were bound to dissect in the morning.

Eren made idle small talk along the way asking you about your classes and how your part time job was going. Talking to him was easy, and he swindled answers out of you with ease, you found yourself being much more honest than you'd intended.

"So... are you dating anyone?" Eren posed the question with his usual charm, his lips quirking up into a smirk.

"No. Not at the moment" you surprise yourself with how casually the words pass your lips, masking your true anxiety-ridden self.

"Really? Not even someone you're 'talking' to?" he pushes.

His eyes quickly drift down your face, are you imagining this? Is he looking at your lips? The moment passes as quickly as he looks back at your eyes, wide grin on his face.

You're so dumbstruck you don't even realise that you've already made it to your dorm, and you feel a sense of loss. If it were up to you the walk back wouldn't end. You shake your head, you were actually hopeless.

"No" you answer his question after a long moment passes, the awkwardness in the air palpable. Was it awkwardness, or, dare you dream, tension?

"That's a shame. A girl like should have guys desperate to be with her" the words roll seamlessly off his tongue and be follows the comment by slowly checking you out, looking you up and down.

Fuck it. You might have actually forgotten how to breathe.

"We should go-" you croaked out. 

"Oh yeah, I'll help you carry her up the stairs" he runs his hand through his hair, and shifts his arm to help carry Mikasa better. 

He helps you lift her up the stairs, and you pause for a moment in front of your door. 

"Thank you" you say for probably the millionth time. 

"No problem" Eren hesitates "Thank you, you're a really good freind of Mikasas, you take care of her. That means youre a good freind of mine too" he says earnestly. 

The phrasing was a bit awkward you think, before realising this was probably him freindzoning you in a covert way. Oh. 

"No problem, good night" you manage to say it as normally as you can muster. 

"Good night" he gives you one his signature smiles and a quick wave, before turning around to walk down the steps. 

His footsteps echo in your head as you silently process what just happened. 

Fuck it. Maybe Jean's idea was worth trying. 


	4. coffee shop 'date'

A week went by after that eventful night at Eren's. Nothing special or out of the ordinary happened, and you were kept busy with your classes and part time job. Still, your mind was occupied by thoughts. Thoughts in the shape of Eren, and now more recently Jean. You weren't at all interested in Jean, no quite the opposite, you still found him as stuck up and irritating as ever. But his proposal lingered in your mind, and you'd mull it over in your head at least once a day. 

It didn't help that your infatuation with Eren had only intensified after your last encounter. He'd wormed his way into your thoughts. Floating in your subconscious was his honeyed voice and glinting green eyes. But this time, it wasn't your fault. You hadn't conjured something out of nothing, no, he had been deliberately flirting with you on the way back to your dorm. Which meant he had to be interested, if even a little. Being flirtatious and casually suggestive was typical Eren Yaeger behaviour, you forced yourself to remember. However it didn't help the tiny flame of hope that had been set alight, there was a chance, however small, that he was interested in you. Then why was he so awkward at the end? Oh, right, Mikasa. 

The more you thought about Jean's 'plan' the more it appealed you. It seemed like a win-win situation. Jean would end up with Mikasa, who'd finally get over her years long crush on Eren which was leading her nowhere, and she'd be with someone who's actually into her. And you... You would be with Eren. It was selfish, you had to admit. But Erens hesitance to date Mikasa hinges on the fact that he didn't want to ruin their friendship by breaking her heart. You on the other hand he has no previous alliegance to, you were just a mutual friend, so there would be nothing stopping him. 

Of course, that all relied on the fact that they would both actually get jealous seeing you and Jean in a relationship together. It was also entirely possibly that they would both be unfazed and you're efforts would prove futile. You didn't let yourself dwell too much on that though. 

Even if it failed miserably you couldn't deny the fun of it alone interested you. A relationship, even a fake one, would be a nice distraction from your daily stresses and anxieties. It wasn't like you had that much of an active love life, it would be a nice addition to the almost sparse desert that consisted of the occasional awkward first date. 

Ok then, you were going to do it. You had come to this conclusion on Friday morning, almost a week after. Ten am on a Friday was an awkward time to make life-changing revelations, especially since you had classes soon, but your mind was set. You were going to do it.

Now how were you going to go about telling Jean. You reached for your phone, and scrolled through your contacts, stopping at J. Weird, It wasn't there. You scrolled through your contacts, slowly this time, and spotted it. There it was. Saved under H, for horseface. You let out a scoff, no doubt that was the result of a night watching Eren taunt him relentlessly. You typed out a text and sent it without a second thought. It was Jean, after all.

_**You** : lets say hypothetically your idea wasnt that bad and hypothetically i was thinking of actually going through with it, you still up for it?_

Barely a minute passes and you hear your phone ring with a notification. 

_**Horseface** : i knew it. r u free today to talk, at a coffee shop maybe? _

You paused for a moment. Your classes finished at two and you'd assumed the rest of your day would be spent bingeing anime or "catching up on schoolwork". A date, well technically speaking, a fake date, wouldn't mess up your 'busy' schedule. 

_**You** : yh im free after 2. The coffee shop near Sasha's at 3?_

_**Horseface** : its a date_

You cringed. You were going to have to get used to this.

The day flew by quickly and your date with Jean was approaching fast. The last class you had was literature, and the seminar was running over, something that happened often in that class. Bored, you stared into the distance, anticipating the lessons end. You began feeling a little anxious and started overthinking. What if he stood you up? What if it was all a joke and Eren was in on it? Was what you wearing ok, or was it too casual? 

You were wearing a pair of mom jeans and an oversized T shirt, one that had the print of some band you knew the name of but who's music you didn't listen to. Honestly, you'd only picked out the Tee because you thought the design was cool. You hadn't really bothered with makeup, and besides your usual trademark eyeliner and light mascara, your face was bare of any foundation or cover up. Makeup and Fashion interested you, but was subject to your mood, and right now you felt like wearing something laidback and casual. Also, dressing up on your 'first' fake date with Jean was a bit of try-hard move, you thought. Still, you felt weirdly self-conscious, you hadn't really done anything like this so what was even the right move?

The cafe you had picked out was a half hour walk from campus and it had a cozy and comfortable vibe that you liked. It was also an independent cafe and was rarely busy, unlike the Starbucks and Costa that were hotspots on campus. Sure, the coffee was insanely expensive, but it was worth the privacy and chill environment. Pushing open the door, you were surprised to find Jean already waiting, standing in a corner, staring out of the windows with an intense look in his eyes. He had headphones in so he didn't notice you walk in, much too focused on the lamppost outside the shop window. You resorted to waving at him, flinging your hand about, to try and get his attention. After a couple minutes, he noticed you, pulling off his headphones and walking over.

His outfit was almost identical to yours, some random band tee and a pair of jeans. It might even be the same exact outfit he wore the other day, you couldn't tell. It frustrated you a little, him wearing a t shirt and jeans looked like a put together outfit, whereas on you, it looked like you weren't trying hard enough. Sexism, you guessed. Oh, his classic fuckboy chain necklace, of course, he couldn't go without that. 

"Hi" He said awkwardly, as his eyes meet yours. 

"Hey" you replied. You were desperate to alleviate this awkward tension between you two. 

Walking over to the counter, you both placed your orders and walked over to a quiet corner to sit down.

You held the mug of coffee in your hands, feeling the warmth seep in to your palms. You were sick of the cold weather.

Jean coughed. 

"You sure you wanna do this?" You looked up at him, and there was something soft about his expression. 

You nodded. 

"I wanna set some boundaries though". 

"Of course".

A moment of silence passed between the two of you. 

"I'm not a fan of pda, especially since we're not actually interested in each other, so I'm uncomfortable with anything more than holding hands". 

"Same". His eyebrows knit together. Was that a look of disgust?

"Hey, you look a little bit too grossed out by the idea of kissing me, I don't have a disease or anything" You blurt out, offended.

"That's not it, I just don't think kissing should be trivialised. I only kiss people I actually have feelings for."

"Didn't take you for a prude." You tease, even though deep down you agree.

"I'm not a prude" He dismisses you, but doesn't provide any further retaliation.

"Look I really, really like Mikasa, and I want this to work. We need to find something we can agree on or talk about without sounding like we hate each other" His voice lacked his usual arrogance, he even almost sounded vulnerable. 

Another moment of silence passes. 

"Why do you even like Mikasa?" you probe. 

"She's quiet, but when she's comfortable she really opens up and shows her true self. I like how loyal she is, she's been by Eren's side throughout everything. Even... She's beautiful, probably the prettiest girl I've ever seen. I know she's doesn't really show emotion but I think deep down she's hurting, she deserves better you know, someone you will treat her right-"

"Someone like you" you scoff.

"Yeah I guess" He brushes his hand through his hair, the dirty blonde locks passing through his fingers. He hadn't intended on being so honest with you, he felt exposed. He wasn't used to wearing his heart on his sleeve, usually his thoughts and feelings about her were kept close to his heart, given that it wasn't really socially acceptable to be in love with someone who was basically your friend's sister. 

"Why do you like Eren?" He pivots the conversation, so that you were under the spotlight. 

You feel unprepared answering. 

"Well, um, I don't know, He's easy to be around. Whenever I'm around him it feels like time has stopped you know, he makes me feel like I'm the most important person in the world. He's also insanely hot. um-" You sound hesitant, stumbling for words. 

Jean nods, that knowing smile from the other day returning. 

"Don't make fun of me, at least I don't have a saviour complex". 

The conversation feels more like a therapy appointment than a date and you look away, desperate for the conversation topic to change, even though you were the one that brought it up. 

Jean's smile disappears and he too looks away. At least you weren't the only one who felt uncomfortable. 

"You listen to them?" He gestures to the band on your T-shirt. 

"Nope."

Jean gives you a puzzled look. 

"Why would you-" 

"Because it thought it looked cute."

Forget having a normal conversation, Jean had the uncanny ability to irritate you with every word he spoke. He was the complete opposite of Eren, instead of feeling at ease, you felt irritable and on edge around him. 

You went back to the counter and ordered another slice of cake, you needed it. 

"Do you know how much sugar that has?" Jean prompts, eyeing your cake. 

"If you want some, just ask". 

"No I don't really like sweet stuff". 

You looked up at him in disbelief. 

"There is something wrong with you". 

"No I just like healthy food."

You took a deep sigh and focused your attention on the slice of cake in front of you. It deserved your attention more than horseface. 

"Stop eating it like a pig."

You look up at him, this time you were actually offended. You raised your eyebrows, prickling with anger. 

"Sorry I meant, you have something on your face"

You ignored him, even though you could tell there was a bit of icing on your left cheek. 

He sighed and leaned over, a napkin in hand, and softly wiped it clean. His face was dangerously close to yours as he leaned forward. He smelt mildly of citrus, and his hair looked more blonde than brown up close, you notices, his soft locks and stubble merely centimetres away from your skin. Wait a second, why was your heart beating so fast, and why was it lasting so long? He pulled back and bunched the napkin in his fist, his intense brown eyes locked on yours. 

"You should try not to be so messy when you're eating in public" You blinked a couple of times, he seemed completely unfazed.

Wait a second, someone was looking at you through the cafe's window. 

A guy with an all-too familiar buzzcut was crouching against the glass of the cafe's window, his hands framing his eyes to help take a better look. Connie. You meet his eyes and your heart drops as you see his mouth bend into a devilish grin. He definitely recognised you.

"What is it, sorry I didn't mean to be rude..." Jean concedes, running his hands through his hair. He looks away from you and then back, regarding your shocked expression. He follows your line of sight and his hand falls from his hair. 

Connie had seen you. He had seen you and Jean. There was no way mistaking it, it clearly looked like you and Jean were on a date. 

Shit. 


	5. party at Ymir's

Any plans to be discreet or take your time with this 'relationship' were thrown out the window in one single moment. If Connie knew, it was only a matter of days before everyone else did too. You were screwed.

Connie backed away from the window and smiled at the both of you. He made a little gesture that mimicked zipping his mouth shut and left the coffee shop with a wave and parting wink. 

You breathed a sigh of relief, at least he didn't confront the two of you about it. 

Still, it meant you didn't have long for you to get your stories straight and come out to the entire group as a 'couple'. You gulped.

"Shit, we have to tell them soon, Connie can't keep a secret if his life depends on it" Jean sighed, sounding equally frustrated.

"Actually I was going to ask you" He started, hesitant. "there's gonna be a party at Ymir's, tomorrow. Do you think its a good time anf place for us to tell everyone?" He sounded cautious, an unsure look on his face.

The idea sounded ridiculous, was your immediate reaction. But you let yourself think on it for a minute. Actually, telling everyone at a houseparty, where everyone would be too intoxicated and distracted to dwell on it too much, didn't sound like a bad idea.

"Sure" you shrug. It wasn't like you had any other plan.

You spent the rest of your date awkwardly putting a story together. You'd been crushing on eachother for a while. Seven minutes in heaven went by... In the way that everyone else already assumed it did. You'd been on one date. You were taking it slow. It wasn't anything serious. It sounded convincing enough. It had to do, since you weren't really in a position where you could have any reservations.

Friday night was restless. You tossed and turned in bed, anxious about the following day. Were you and Jean going to be able to pull it off?

You ran your errands on Saturday as usual. The evening was slowly approaching and you started getting ready in advance. You were possessed by a sudden urge to dress up. You wanted to look hot at Ymir's party. Maybe it was a subliminal attempt at further getting Erens attention, you didn't think on it, pulling out the sexiest dress you could find in your closet.

You decided on a black silk mini dress, you'd impulsively bought it one day and had yet to wear it out. It was tight and hugged you in a way that would make you terribly self conscious on a normal today. But today was different, as you turned in the mirror to better admire the way the dress hugged your curves. Your makeup look was more extravagant too, you even applied glitter to your eyelids experimentally.

Mikasa walked into the room as you were adjusting your hairstyle in the mirror. 

"I was just about to ask, I'm guessing you're getting ready to go to Ymir's?"

Mikasa was also going to the party, in fact, she was your ride.

You nodded. 

You felt guilty keeping your 'relationship' with Jean a secret from her. She was going to find out at the same time as everyone else. But you couldn't trust yourself not to break if you were to tell her one-to-one. What if she saw through it? Mikasa knew you well enough at this point.

You made your way to the party, planning to arrive a little early. Quite a few people had the same idea, and you could feel the music vibrating beneath your feet and spot the occasional empty cup. 

You made your way to the living room and found everyone sprawled on the sofa and chairs. 

You were immediately drawn to Eren, a force of habit, as his eyes widened at the sight of you. His hair was dishevelled, half up in his signature style. He smirked, realising you caught him staring, and bit his lips, only slightly, so that his lips were merely brushing against his teeth. Wow, he was shameless. 

You looked away and searched for Jean, feeling yourself blush at being so obviously checked out, in front of every one. Did everyone else see that?

It didn't seem like it. A mere few seconds had felt like whole minutes, he'd managed to fuck up your perception of time. Greetings were directed towards you and you noticed that there was empty spot next to Jean on one of the armchairs. It wasn't really built for two people but Jean had leaned over to one side, discreetly inviting you to sit beside him. At least thats what you guessed. 

You shuffled past and sat beside him, feeling his arm awkwardly wrap around you. His arms felt surprisingly firm. It was impressive, he probably worked out. He too, had been staring at you. There was nothing hungry about the look in his eye, his intense brown eyes were almost squinting, looking at you as though he almost didn't recognise you. More likely, he hadn't seen this side of you were before. There was a sense of disbelief, and like Eren, he found himself transfixed and unable to tear his eyes from you. He was a surprisingly good actor, you thought to yourself as you tried to nestle in the chair beside him.

He blinked and looked away when he realised you caught him staring. And he wasn't the only one. Everyone's eyes were focused on you, expecting some kind of explanation.

All of a sudden you felt your words caught in your throat. You weren't sure you were going to be able to form a coherent sentence, let alone explain everything to your group of friends.

Luckily Jean came to your rescue. 

"We're together. I asked her the other day when we were in the closet after we... We both liked each other for a while and we found out so..." Jean's confidence was wavering. 

"We're going out. We're not like serious or anything, we've only been on one date, two if you include seven minutes. But yeah I really like him so, we're trying it out" The lie fell easily from your lips and you tried your best to beam at all of the incredulous faces in front of you. 

There were a few cheers and whoops. Connie immediately started blabbering about how he had seen the two of you in the coffee shop as everyone listened. Two members of the group remained quiet. Eren had raised his eyebrows in shock but otherwise didn't look too surprised. He had a smile on his face that suggested he wasn't convinced. Well, you, didn't know that, you were probably overthinking. Mikasa had given you a small smile but didn't say anything, and looked away when you tried to hold eye contact. She was upset with you. It was inevitable that she'd be hurt, you'd accepted that, but it still pained you to see her like this. You had to make it up to her in the future.

"What's going on?" Ymir walked over to see what all the commotion was about. Ymir was in sophomore year and she was the epitome of cool, at least to you. She intimidated you though and you felt more comfortable and at ease talking to her girlfriend Historia. Historia was almost the complete opposite of Ymir, she was softly spoken and approachable. She had wispy blonde hair and blue eyes. You remembered that one awkward time you'd mistaken Armin for Historia, it wasn't your fault, they did look similar. 

"Jean and y/n are dating" Connie rushed to answer her, eagerly awaiting her reaction. 

Ymir turned around to look straight at you. 

"You sure you wanna date horseface?" She asked you, her voice laced with disappointment. 

You nodded, not trusting yourself to try and defend him with your words. 

She shook her head, looking as though she'd never understand it. You didn't blame her, you'd probably have the same reaction if you were her. 

"I think you guys look cute together" Historia interjected and smiled at you too. 

Ymir rolled her eyes. "Of course you do".

There was no malice in your voice however, as she reached over to wrap her arms around Historia. 

"We're cuter though" She leaned over to kiss Historia on the cheek. They were honestly adorable, and you found yourself smiling genuinely as you watched them. 

"Anyways, you guys wanna play another game, especially since there's more girls this time?" Connie.

Ymir looked disgusted by the suggestion and turned as if to leave the room, but Historia pulled her back in, gripping her arm. 

"I'm not touching any of you guys, and neither is Historia so don't get your hopes up"

"You're not the only couple in the group anymore." Eren broke his silence and leaned back on the sofa, his hands tucked in behind his neck.

"This should get interesting" he muttered to himself, not loud enough for everyone else to hear him, but you picked up on it. 

"I was thinking... Truth or Dare" Connie suggested. 

"Yeah, whatever" Jean spoke from beside you, and it momentarily shocked you to hear his voice so close to you. You didn't know if you were imagining it, but his voice sounded much deeper than it had before. 

Again the group settled into a lopsided circle around the coffee table, another beer bottle placed on top as the decider. More and more people were entering the house, but Ymir's parties were not known for getting rowdy or out of control, since she was selective about who she invited. For the most part, people stuck to their circle of friends, sometimes they mingled with others, but her parties stayed closer to being casual and chill than raucous occasions. You felt self-consciously over-dressed as you looked around at the group around you, mostly clothed in T-shirts and Jeans. 

The first couple of turns went by. You were a couple of drinks in already, apprehensive of if the bottle's head swivels in your direction. As if on cue, the third time the bottle is spun it stops on you. Of course, just your luck. 

You take a deep breath and brace yourself, looking up at the group around you. 

"Truth or dare?" Connie directs the question towards you. You pause for a moment. Considering the previous turn involved removing a layer of clothing as the dare (which left Sasha's jeans abandoned in some corner of the room) you decided on truth as the safer option. 

"Truth" 

Theres a collective pause, as everyone weighed out their options.

"How far have you and Jean gone?" Eren poses the question casually, but his eyes glint with danger.

Shit. You weren't prepared to answer _that_ question.

"Fuck off Eren" Jean senses your unease and spits the words at him, his hand instinctively coming down to hold you closer. You felt comforted by the small gesture and leaned into his touch, following his suit and paying no attention to Eren's lingering question. 

"Okay fine, What happened when you were in the closet for seven minutes together, then?" You scoff. The questions were not that different, but you had to give some kind of answer. 

"We made out" You said it as decisively as you could and Jean immediately looked away, unable to meet your eye. 

"I knew it" Connie exclaimed. Eren still looked unconvinced but he nodded, accepting your answer. 

A couple more rounds passed by. Niccolo ended up kissing Sasha, unsurprisingly, and Connie was no longer wearing a shirt, which wasn't that much of a shocking sight. 

You'd gotten progressively more drunk over these last two rounds, trying to quell the anxiety that plagued you as you tried to keep up the facade. 

The bottle head stopped at Jean, and he gulped, also anxious. He chose dare.

"I dare you to... kiss the prettiest person in the room" Connie eyes widened, impressed by himself.

Jean paused for a moment, his eyes lingering on Mikasa for a moment. The moment passed and he turns to the side, planting a soft kiss on your cheek. It was a light peck, and his lips brushed over your skin for a couple seconds after he lifted them off. His lips were softer than you thought they would feel, and the slight scratch of his stubble against your skin gave you goosebumps. You felt overly sensitive, it had to be the alcohol. He turned back to the group and gave a smug smile. He had cheated, technically, but you appreciated it, you were in no way prepared to have kissed him in front of the entire group.

"Cheat".

There were groans of disappointment in the room but they went ignored by Jean, he simply shrugged them off. 

The game had slowly evolved into "Fuck, marry, kill" after Ymir outright refused to kiss Eren or answer any truths about her relationship with Historia. You were greatful, but found it hard to concentrate on the game. You were drunk, but in a past-your-comfort-zone kind of way, and found your head swaying a little. You rested your head on Jean's shoulder reluctantly. It didn't feel too awkward and intimate you admitted, he was more comfortable to be around than you had expected. He was shocked a little first, but didn't move, and you sighed against him. 

"Y/n your turn, Who would you Fuck marry and kill?"

You blinked a couple times and lifted your head off of Jean's shoulder, immediately missing the balance it provided you. The alcohol was definitely coursing through your veins as you tried to compose yourself. You realised your skirt had ridden up on your thigh, showing off more skin than you were comfortable with. You looked down at it, giving yourself some time to formulate an answer. Just as you were about to reach to adjust your skirt, Jean's left hand brushed over and gently tugged the skirt straight. It was almost as if he had read your mind. For some reason, it threw you off, and you took a long pause before addressing the group. 

"um I would kiss Armin, marry Jean and kill Connie" The words came out more slurred than you intended but you were still satisfied with your answer. It wasn't a complete lie. You'd avoided mentioning Eren, and you honestly didn't trust yourself to given your drunken state of mind. 

"Already talking about marriage, woah... hang out you'd kill me?" Connie sounded offended. 

"You didn't answer the question properly. It was fuck marry kill." Eren spoke calmly, how did he speak so normally? Was he not drunk or high all the time. 

"Wait, instead, let's make it Kiss, fuck, marry and kill so no one gets left out" Connie presents the idea as though it were a revelation. Shit, now you couldn't avoid Eren. 

You were way too drunk for this. 

"I would kiss Armin" you started, that part of your answer you were most sure of. Armin had a slight blush on his cheek and avoided looking at you, he was so cute, you couldn't deny that. 

"Marry... Jean, fuck Connie and kill Eren". Your voice came out so unsure, you doubted anyone would be convinced with your answer. 

"Yes" Connie punched the air with his fist, clearly flattered by your answer.

Eren raised his eyebrows but said nothing. He looked slightly annoyed, maybe this thing with Jean was actually working? Were you finally getting to him?

It was moving in a circle, and since Jean was sitting right next to you, so it was his turn next. 

"Jean, your turn. Who'd you Fuck, marry, kill" Eren took the lead and posed the question. 

"and kiss" Connie chirped in. Thanks to you, another category had been added to the mix.

You leaned down from your spot and reached around over for a beer bottle, desperate to escape the awkward tension in the room. Just as your hands grazed the cool glass of the bottle, you felt it swiftly move from your reach. You looked around for some kind of explanation. 

"I think you've had enough to drink" His words are merely a whisper as his lips are a hairs-breadth away from your ears. Whatever comfort you felt earlier left you, he was as irritating an stuck up as ever. 

"You're not my dad" Your voice betrayed you, and your words were slurred. You were unintentionally proving his point. 

Eren looks between the two of you, picking up on the disagreement. His eyes drift to the bottle in Jean's hands and he connects the dots. 

"Hey horseface, let her drink if she wants to" Eren interjects. 

The piercing look that Jean gave Eren made you grateful you weren't in his shoes. 

"Of course you like it when girls are drunk" he hissed the words at Eren. 

If the tension before had seemed awkward, now it felt volatile. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Eren offers Jean a deceptive smile. 

Jean took a deep breath. Provoking Eren would only result in a brawl in front of everyone. He was sure Connie and the other's would be entertained by it, but he wanted to save face in front of Mikasa, and also didn't want Ymir to kick him out of her house. He takes a swig from the bottle he took from your hands. 

"I would kiss Sasha, fuck Mikasa, marry y/n and kill Ymir" He voice carried all the confidence you lacked. 

Shit. This didn't really help matters. At hearing Mikasa's name, Eren's eyes widened with anger. Had Jean really been that bold? Eren clearly felt some kind of way about Mikasa, what else could explain his reaction. The reactions from the group were mixed. Mikasa looked down at the floor to avoid any confrontation. Ymir, on the other hand, laughed pleased to hear it. 

"I'd kill you too horseface, not in the game but in real life, the only thing stopping me is her" She gestured towards Historia. 

Her comment helped lift everyone's mood a little and Jean relaxed, the tension from earlier seemingly dissipated. 

You were feeling sluggish and drowsy, in short, you felt like absolute shit. You looked longingly in Mikasa's direction but couldn't bring yourself to call her. It was getting to the point where the only thing you wanted was to be was in snuggled beneath your duvet in your dorm. Fuck it, this was not how you planned the night to go. It was your fault, you had drunk way more than you could handle, but it had been difficult to get through without assistance. 

"want... go...home" Your words were directed at no one in particular. 

Jean stirred beside you. He too hadn't planned on leaving the party early but, now that he was thinking about it, he realised he couldn't handle being around Eren for much longer. Eren had always deeply irritated him and had the ability to stoke an anger in him he didn't know possible. He blamed the fact that they shared a dorm on the cruelness of fate. He needed to escape from his presence, if even for a brief moment. 

"Do you want me to drive you home?" His voice sounded gentle. He felt hesitant, you were a complete enigma to him, he never knew how to approach you. 

You nodded, tugging on his arm and using it to help you stand up. 

"Where are you going?" Sasha spoke through a mouthful of food, she was seated a couple metres away from you on the sofa and noticed you struggling to stand up. 

Jean filled in for you. 

"I'm gonna give her a lift". 

Everyone's eyes turned to focus on you. Eren looked at the two of you suspiciously and even Mikasa's looked over guiltily, her eyes filled with worry. 

Jean stood up and shifted your arm, so that he was half-carrying you and he was carrying the brunt of your weight. 

You were only vaguely aware that you had left Ymir's house, barely noticing the harsh wind against your bare skin. You felt strong arms lift you into a cold leather seat, and you adjusted yourself, eyes dangerously near closing. The last thing you could remember was the tune of some R&B track playing in the background, as you felt yourself, slowly but surely fall deeper into sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy,  
> honestly you guys are so nice, reading your comments really makes my day <3 <3 <3 i know it might seem things are going a little too fast in this chapter but i assure yall this is slowburn so it will take time (i do have adhd tho so well see how long my patience lasts). i was also thinking of featuring Jean's pov a bit more, idk if that sounds like a good idea??  
> hope you enjoyed the chapter xx


	6. wednesday

The majority of your Sunday was spent nursing a particularly terrible hangover headache. 

Glimpses of the night before would come back to you throughout the day, but you could only remember up to the point when Jean and you left Ymir's place. Even then, your memories of the events was shaky and you regarded them as untrustworthy. You needed another witness to help you recall everything that had happened. Normally, you would turn to Mikasa, since, at least according to your unreliable memory, she hadn't gotten nearly as drunk as you. The problem was, you still hadn't resolved things with her. 

It wasn't really your fault, she did have to work on Sundays so you had just missed her when you had woken up. Still, you longed to talk to her and see her smile again. Mikasa was not easily upset. She wouldn't cry or scream at anyone but she would become withdrawn in a way that hurt just as much. You really missed her. 

You decided to make it up to her in part by tidying up your dorm room and making dinner for you both. Mikasa struggled to get into deep conversations over why she was upset so you usually fixed things by doing small things to help her out. Despite that you braced yourself to explain yourself to her during dinner. You couldn't escape the guilt, you were going to have to lie straight to her face. Telling her the truth wasn't even an option, it would ruin the plan you and Jean had precariously put into place. You convinced yourself that you were doing it for her, she needed to give up on chasing Eren eventually.

You avoided thinking too much about the memories you did remember. That would only result in fantasizing about Eren, and that was not the headspace you needed to be in to fix things with Mikasa. 

You did have a newfound appreciation for Jean though, at the very least he didn't leave you there drunk out of your mind. You would have probably exposed the two of you to everyone there and then. You felt guilty, no doubt you'd ruined his night by leaving so early. You'd ruined it for yourself too, why had you drunk more than you could handle? You concluded that you owed him a "thank you" at the very least. Last night had been weird for the both of you, acting "coupley", all cozied up next to each other; it was bound to make things even awkwarder between you. Keeping the act up had been exhausting, especially since Jean's "boyfriend" side was way more protective and possessive than you had thought it would be. It felt patronising, and you sympathised with any unfortunate girl he must have dated in the past. You sighed, you were going to have to get used to it. 

"Hey" you tentatively greeted Mikasa as she arrived home from her shift. She worked at some alternative clothing store so her makeup and outfit looked as amazing as ever. 

You readied yourself to be ignored but was shocked to see her eyes look straight you, welling up with tears. 

"I'm sorry" 

Ok now you were really shocked. 

You shook your head dumbly, visibly confused. 

"I'm the one that should be sorry" you corrected her. 

"No, I should. I should have gone home with you when you needed me too, but I didn't. You're always there for me when I need you-"

"No" You interrupted her. Mikasa apologising to you was the last thing you thought would have happened. 

"I should have told you about me and Jean. You always tell me everything and I let you down. Don't feel guilty about anything, it's not like I had to walk alone". You offer her a shaky smile, you too were dangerously close to tears. 

"Do you really like him then?" 

You sighed, your lying skills werw gonna be put up to the test. 

You nod, not trusting yourself to explain it with words. 

Mikasa smiles. 

"You know I always thought deep down you had a thing for Eren, and I thought Jean liked me. It's stupid and narcisstic I know." She pauses.

"I'm glad though, and so happy for you guys, you look so cute together" the smile that she beamed at you was radiant and genuine. 

Shit, if only she knew how close to the truth she really was. 

"Ha Why would you think that?" You try not to dwell on her scarily accurate assumptions. 

"I've liked him for a while, He's a good guy, he really care you know" You spoke quickly. Jean was sentimental, so you're weren't exactly lying, it just that he didn't harbor those sappy feelings towards _you._

You spent the rest of the evening recalling the events at Ymir's party and piecing together your memories. Mikasa was so full of personality whenever she opened up to you, and you found yourselves laughing at yourselves and your friends whilst eating dinner. You were going to have to do some background checks on Jean, you realised. Mikasa deserved someone who truly treasured her, not someone who ignored her affections continuously throughout several years. 

You didn't see Jean or Eren again until the Wednesday of the following week. 

Spotting Jean seated in the corner in the corner of the lecture hall in one of your classes for the first time you was the last thing you expected to happen on a regular Wednesday morning. How had you two not realised you were in the same class together? Granted, it had a lot of students, one of the biggest classes you were in, but still, it didn't make too much sense. Were you that oblivious to one another's existence that you just simply hadn't noticed? It was actually funny, when you thought about it. 

You felt a weird surge of confidence and decided that you were going to sit next to him. You still hadn't thanked him for Saturday night in person, and as a plus it would help your image as a "happy couple" on campus. 

His blond eyebrows shot up when he saw you approach him, making your way to the empt seat beside him. At least you weren't alone in not knowing you shared a class. 

"I didn't know you took this class" He said. 

"Neither did I" you give him a small smile as you sit down.

"How are you?" His voice sounds forced and you notice him struggle to keep eye contact with you. 

You weren't fond of staring into his intense brown eyes either but something unnerved you about the way he had avoided you. It was only natural that it would be awkward between you, you hadn't talked to each other or even texted since Saturday, but you still had the strange feeling that something was off. 

"I'm good" you nod. You pause for a moment. "Look I just wanted to thank you for the other day, for you know bringing me home. Sorry if I ruined your night and whatever" his inability to look directly at you was making you lose some of your surety, what the hell was going on?

"No problem. It wasn't _you_ that ruined my night, anyways it was- forget it." His eyes met for a brief second and he instantly turned away. 

You looked around the lecture hall for a distraction, since looking or talking to Jean was no longer an option. You regretted your decision to sit next to him, he was clearly going through something. You felt like you had interrupted him in some way. Seeing Jean in a lecture felt unnatural in and of itself, you'd never seen him outside his usual environment, a dimly lit dorm room or house party. 

His eyes were focused on his phone, and he was staring at it as if it were some puzzle he was desperate to solve. His long blond eyelashes that framed his eyes were were touching the skin beneath his eyebrows, which were long and thick, now knitted in concentration. His eyebrows were amazing you thought yourself, feeling envious, they looked editorial with the way they were shaped. 

You heard shuffling behind you. 

"Hey y/n, You take this class too?" 

It was Connie. What the hell was going on? Had you been entering the lecture hall blindly for the first couple of weeks of the semester? The more you thought about the more it made sense. You'd missed the first week because you were sick, so you'd just managed to avoid them in the second.

Hearing his voice sent alarm bells ringing in your head. You had an audience and were going to have to put on the act again. You turned around to greet him and at the same time shuffled closer to Jean, so that your thighs were now touching. The brief contact jolted you for a second, it had been a while since you had last touched him. It was the most you could come up with, what did couple's even do in lectures together? you thought, they could hardly make out in front of the professor. 

Jean looked up from his phone to address Connie, and his face broke into an easy smile. It was weird, seeing Jean smile so casually, you were used to his unnecessarily serious glances and stares. 

"Hey" 

Connie moved to sit right next to you. Perfect. The next hour was going to be hell, you thought to yourself. 

Since it was a lesson, you and Jean had an excuse not to behave too coupley or romantic. But the class's end was approaching fast and you began feeling more and more nervous. You were anticipating your walk out of the hall, how did a couple walk out together? Your inexperience was showing. 

The professor's closing words finally came and you gulped. You were not ready for this. Part of you was angry at yourself for getting so worked up about something that was so stupid. Still, it did nothing to calm your anxiety about everything. 

You took your time packing your bags, watching the number of students in the hall dwindle. You were in no rush to leave and were desperate for even a sliver of privacy. Jean waited patiently beside, scrolling through his phone to pass the time. As you stood up, finally ready to leave, you felt something brush against your hand. Jean's hands were fumbling around, trying to find yours. You reach back, allowing you both to hold hands. His hands were rough, in complete contrast to the smoothness of his lips the other day. They were large, larger than you'd imagined, and they enveloped yours in their embrace. They were also warm, deliciously warm, you noted, which would be helpful given how cold the weather had been lately. There was something weirdly comforting about it, you thought, as his hand held yours in a tight grip. He still hadn't manage to properly look you in the eye, but the contact did provide a sense of normalcy, maybe you had just been overthinking.

Connie was a few steps ahead of you, no doubt trying to catch up and flirt with some girl in the class. 

The walk out of the hall and around campus had been a silent one, since you had relied on holding hands as enough indication to everyone that you were indeed an 'item'. 

You had been walking with no real sense of direction, letting Jean lead you to whatever destination he was headed. And he seemed to be following the footsteps of Connie. There was a long break until your next lecture so you were in no rush to go anywhere, spending time with Connie and Jean interested you much more than trying to spend the next couple of hours trying to catch up on the reading you were behind on. 

Connie was still desperately pursuing the girl, who, now that you had caught up with them, you could make better sight of. He was busy in conversation with her, barely noticing you and Jean walking behind him. She had champagne coloured hair, a similar shade to Jean's that was cut in a chunky bob just hitting her chin. She had hazel eyes, looking diluted in comparison to Jean's, and something about her face seemed familiar. You had the strange feeling that you had seen her somewhere before. For a second you even entertained the idea that she might be related to Jean, but that was definitely not it.

It dawned on you that you were approaching a bench of sorts, the one that was propped outside the library, and you could make out the back of a person's head. That hairstyle you could recognise anywhere. The messy half up half down ponytail, unmistakably belonged to Eren. You gulped, you hadn't seen him since Saturday either. 

His heard turned around as he heard you approaching. His eyes looked around and he paused you, drifting down to regard the way you and Jean's hands were entertwined in the middle. He smirked and looked back up, and directed his attention to Connie and the champagne haired girl in front of you. 

"Hey Hitch" His voice fell into a smirk as he checked her out. 

She glowered at him in response. 

"look I'm sorry I didn't reply to your texts I was just really caught up with schoolwork" he might have come across as genuine, if his voice hadn't been dripping with mockery. 

Connie gasped. 

"Eren, don't tell me you hooked up with her?" Connie looked more frustrated than you'd ever seen him. 

Eren just shrugged. 

"By the way, did I happen to leave my leather jacket at your place I just can't seem to find it anywhere" Eren continued. 

Hitch looked like she wanted to tear Eren to shreds. 

"You're a dick Eren. An absolute fucking dick. I swear if you go anywhere near Mikasa I will kill you" Hitch spat the words at him as though they were venom. 

That was where you'd seen her before. She was a friend of Mikasa's. You'd been briefly introduced to her before, but you'd probably been too drunk to have remembered. 

She glared at Eren one final time before turning around to walk away. 

"I guess I'll never know where my jacket went" Eren mused wistfully. 

There was an awkward silence. Even Connie who could usually be trusted to lift the mood remained quiet. 

"I can't believe you slept with her, I told you I liked her, no wonder she started following me after I mentioned you " Connie muttered beneath his breath. 

Eren ignored him and his gaze drifted back to you. 

"Hey, I didn't leave my jacket at your place by any chance" 

You're frozen in place, momentarily confused. 

"umm no, you took it back" A memory resurfaces, that time last week when he had lent you his coat whilst walking you back to your dorm. It feel like an age ago, you thought to yourself. 

He nods, lost in thought. 

Jean looks at you accusingly, a questioned poised on his tongue. His lips move apart as if to say something, but they instantly shut, as if thinking better of it. You meet his eyes and shrug, ready for him to confront you. He looks away and the moment passes. 

"I texted Mikasa to meet us here, she wanted to have lunch together. I told her you guys showed up so we can do a double date" He paused. "well a double date plus connie". 

Connie scoffed but didn't say anything. 

You gulped. You had to get out of this. 

"Actually I just remembered me and y/n are going back to my place, I need her help on an assignment" Jean came to your rescue. The lie fell easily from his lips. 

Eren smirked. 

"Good luck on your assignment" 

Shit. It sounded way more suggestive than Jean intended it to be. 

Jean turned on his heel, and you followed suit, allowing him to guide you. 

Jean bit his lip. 

He had been aware of his silence, but he couldn't help it. What had happened that night when he had dropped you off at your dorm, was all he could think about. And being around Eren only made the memory he wanted to suppress resurface with a vengeance.

Did you even remember what happened? He thought to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy,  
> I struggled a little with this chapter so im sorry if it comes across as filler-y. Next episode will definitely have more dialogue and drama than this one. I just wanted to kinda bridge the gap between chapter 5 and 7. Hope you enjoyed xx


	7. forgotten memory

You looked peaceful. Your head was nestled on the uncomfortable headrest and your body curled into the cold leather seat. The look on your face however gave the impression that you were cozied up under the comfiest blankets on a king sized bed. It was kind of amazing how you manage to sleep so deeply in a moving car. 

Jean had absent-mindedly put on one of his playlists, most likely the songs picked out with Mikasa on his mind, and drove through the almost empty roads. 

There was something calming about driving in the dead of night. The surburban streets he drove through seemed deserted, everyone tucked away inside their homes, probably asleep. Driving helped him wind down, and he felt himself relaxing, the previous anger that Eren has provoked now dull and fading. 

Every so often he'd take a glance in your direction, as if remembering you were there, and he'd realise how much of a mess he had gotten himself into. This fake relationship thing wasn't going to be as easy as he assumed. 

Jean was the type of guy who felt strongly about things. Whether it was something he liked, or something he hated, once his opinion on something was fixed, it would remain almost unchangeable. It was exactly this that had drove him into trying something so risky and ridiculous with you, in a pathetic effort to win Mikasa's affection. It was also the reason he struggled to keep up an act, doing things half heartedly wasn't really his style, especially when it came to relationships. 

Sure, he'd had plenty of hookups, but once he found a crush to fixate on, they would lose his interest entirely. He was forced to come to the conclusion that he was just a sappy romantic, period. 

He also felt inclined towards chivalry. Not the misogynistic kind of chivalry that is just plain patronising, but he just liked to take care of people. Giving his jacket to his girlfriend, paying for her meal, he was just into that kind of stuff. Further proof that he was just a sappy romantic. 

In short he was the least qualified person to be pursuing a fake relationship. Not that it mattered, at this point there was no going back. 

His hands steadily steered the car, parking it into position outside your dorm. You'd arrived. But you were still fast asleep. 

Jean bit his lip. He didn't want to be a dick and wake you up from your sleep. But would it really be a dick move if he was the one who had given you a lift home? 

You stirred, forced awake by the harsh brightness of the cars inside lights. 

Jean sighed, glad he didn't have to wake you up. 

You lookes up at him, confused, and then gave a goofy looking smile. 

Now _he_ was confused. 

"Thank you Eren".

The words stumbled past your lips, your voice dipping low in what was probably an attempt at sounding seductive. 

Jean blinked. Did he hear that correctly? 

"You're always there for me." 

Now where was this coming from? It was kind of funny, and Jean had to suppress the urge to grin. You weren't in the right state of mind, but that didn't detract from how comedic the whole situation was. 

"Your hair looks better like this." Your hand reached out to touch his air, but missed it's aim, as you dumbly patted his shoulder. 

Jean was mentally taking notes of everything. He couldn't wait to tell your future sober self about this. 

You looked straight into his eyes, as though searching for something in his dark brown irises. 

Jean stilled. Despite your drunken state, there was something sobering about the way you held his gaze. You didn't falter, you didn't look away, but stared right into the dark wells of his pupils. It felt piercing, and he couldn't look away. 

He feels frozen in place, barely noticing you lean towards him, your hand gripping his shoulder. Its only when the eye contact is broken, does he realise the intention behind your movements. 

His face is a couple of inches away from your face. But the way your eyes travel down his face and stop at his lips makes the distance feel so, so, much smaller. 

It's only when you close your eyes that he finally wakes from the trance. He slowly pushes you away from and immediately looks away, trying to process what had happened. 

What the fuck had just happened? 

He could still smell your perfume, the flowery scent overpowering his senses. Instinctively he opens his door, desperate for the fresh air. Anything to escape the suffocating tension in the car.

You register him opening the car as an invitation to leave, and open the door on your side. You give Jean another goofy smile and stagger out the car. You seemed strangely energised and Jean suppresses the urge to help you into your room, partly because napping in the car seemed to have energised you, and partly because he wouldn't know how to act. Things had just gotten a hell of a lot more awkward. 

He waited outside your dorm until he saw your room light turn on, meaning you had safely made it back. 

Jean took a deep breath. 

There was a very small chance you were going to remember any of this the following day. 

On his way back to his dorm, he tried to make sense of the events. He couldn't blame it on alcohol since he hadn't had more than a few sips of beer. He'd felt too stressed about putting on act to let himself get too intoxicated. He'd also assumed he'd have to give _somebody_ a ride back. It finally dawned on him that the perfume you were wearing, was Mikasa's. That was it. It finally clicked, and he breathed a heavy sigh of relief. 

Still, he avoided you the next couple of days. And he found himself unable to meet your eyes properly when you had bumped into him in class during Wednesday. 

***

He pulled your hand urgently, and your heels were dragging slightly trying to catch up with him.

You were glad that he freed you both from an awkward double date with Eren and Mikasa. But you didn't appreciate his impatience. 

"Hey calm down". You tugged his hand, trying to get your message across.

His steps slowed, and you were crossing a familiar street. You spotted it. The independent coffee shop was just about visible from where you were. You sighed. You weren't sure whether you were comfortable going to Jean's dorm room alone with him. If his awkwardness had been difficult to handle in public, who knew what it would be like then?

Jean gulped. He was terrible at hiding things. Was he going to remind you of what had happened? Or was it even necessary to tell you? Was it a best kept a forgotten memory? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyy,  
> tysm for all the lovely comments, yall r too kind 😭😭 i will try to upload another chapter tomorrow since this is technically a flashback. hope you enjoyed xx


	8. the plan

Going back to the indie coffee shop was a good idea, you thought. There was a lot the two of you needed to discuss. 

As soon as the two of you approached the front door of the shop, you felt Jean's grip loosen as he let go of your hand. He walked up to the counter and ordered a black coffee. Of course, you thought to yourself, how predictable. You were a few steps behind him, but you could just about pick up on the conversation he was having with the barista. 

She was pretty, pretty in that kind of way that radiated kindness, and you couldn't help yourself from smiling back at her. She was chuckling into response something Jean said and casually tucked her hair behind her ear. Oh, so that's the game she was playing. 

You shrugged it off before realising that Jean and you were not walking together campus as freinds, but under completely different pretences. 

You inched closer to better hear the conversation. 

"Are you free sometime, I'd love to hang out maybe even grab something to eat, anything but coffee". She asked him out so casually, a confident smile playing on her lips. 

You gulped. You really didn't want to awkwardly interupt them. 

"I'm flattered but I already have a girlfriend" He took quick look back at you, and you got a glimpse of the empathetic smile he was offering the barista. 

Her eyes drifted back to your and her smile didn't falter. She showed no embarrassment at being turned down and nodded in understanding. 

You moved forward and placed your order, making as little small talk as possible. 

You both took your drinks from the counter and made your way towards a remote corner in the store, hoping it would provide you better privacy than the last time you had been there. 

A few minutes of silence passed as you held your latte in between your palms, basking in the heat radiating off of the mug. 

Jean coughed, breaking the silence, but made no move to start the conversation. 

You sighed, took a sip of the latte and began. 

"Look this isn't working" 

Jean's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. 

You didn't explain yourself, waiting for him to make the next move. 

"Are you breaking up with me?" the corner of his lip turned up, mimicking the faint shape of a smile. Oh, so you _did_ have the ability to make him laugh.

He forced himself to meet your eyes, having resolved to forget about what had happened that night and move forward as though it never did. 

Something about seeing you again in the coffee shop again dissipated all of the awkwardness. The you from the earlier night was completely seperare from the one seated in front of him. You were irritable, defensive and ultimately annoying. And something about remembering one of your arguably weakest moments made him feel as though he had the upper hand. After all, it was _you_ who should be embarassed after throwing yourself at him, thinking he was Eren. Even the thought alone amused him. 

You suppressed the urge to grin, and instead opted to roll your eyes. 

"No, we just need a better plan, this is leading us nowhere" You say, sounding frustrated. 

He looks away for a second. He can't help feeling a little guilty, he had been the one avoiding you. 

"You're right" His dark brown eyes swivel back to focus on you. He sounds honest, his nodding making you feel more justified in your complaints. 

"I mean it's not like we're making zero progress. I feel like we've been getting on Eren's nerves a little bit. He's not jealous, but somethings off" Jean muses. 

"I can't really say anything though since I have been avoiding him since Ymir's party." He continues. 

You look away, feeling your cheeks heat at even the idea of Eren being jealous of you. 

Jean looks off into the distance, lost in his own thoughts. 

"Why do you hate him so much?" You prompt. You'd been meaning to figure out the reason behind Jean and Eren's... Well at ths very least dislike towards one another. 

Jean sighs. 

"He doesn't care much. About anything. He sees dating as just a game. Every time he'd figure out I was crushing on some girl, he'd use his charms and good looks and sleep with her. It was almost like a competition. So I stopped looking for anything serious and did what he did. I slept around, didn't care. Of course that was all before I fell for Mikasa. That was when I knew I was truly screwed. Eren doesn't even need to do anything to secure her devotion. She just loves him regardless. And he doesn't deserve any of it".

His eyes seem sorrowful, and he smiles sadly, reminded of how much a pathetic situation he was in. 

He felt so at ease exposing his vulnerabilities to you and it made you feel ncomfortable. You diverted your eyes searching for a fault in his confession. 

"Sounds an awful lot like you're slut shaming Eren, so what if he sleeps around?" Your defensiveness is instinctual, and you surprise even yourself at how eagerly you rise to Eren's defense. 

Jean's eyebrows shoot upwards, and his expression suggests that you had missed his point entirely. 

"I'm not _slutshaming_ him I just think that it takes more than wanting to fuck each other to start a relationship" He smirks at you accusingly. 

Ok, now he just made things personal. 

"What do you mean by that?" You challenge him, pursing your lips. Maybe you were just being over dramatic, maybe it wasn't directed towards you. 

Jean keeps pushing. 

"I mean don't you think it should be about more than how good the person's hair looks or how hot he is?" 

Ok, mentioning Eren's hair felt like a personal attack. 

"So what if it is, I don't think you have to be fully in love with someone and want to settle down with them in the suburbs to have kids to justify dating them. I mean do you even know Mikasa, how do you even know how you feel if you don't get to know someone?" Your words come out rushed and you feel yourself blushing with anger. 

He ignores your comment about Mikasa. Instead of retaliating he just smiles at you, regarding how flustered you've gotten. 

"What do you even like about Eren, besides his looks?"

You shake your head not trusting yourself to respond without sounding pathetic. You were regretting any semblance of empathy you had felt before for the man in front of you. 

You'd much prefer socially awkward unable-to-make-eye-contact Jean than to the snarky side of him that was surfacing. 

"What do you think we should do then, to make it more believable?" He completely changes the subject. 

You contemplate continuing to argue with him, but decide not to, given how unrelentingly annoying he was being. 

There is a long pause. 

"Well we could start things off by not flirting with other people when our friends think we are in a committed relationship" Your eyes drifting to the barista. 

"I wasn't-" He scoffs. "Didn't think you'd be one to get jealous, especially since you're all about no commitment no strings attached kind of relationships." The smirk looks permanent on his lips. 

"I'm not-" You place your head in your hands. 

"Well we could start by you not being so fucking awkward all the time. You act as though the floor is more interesting to look at than me" You roll your eyes, your voice steadier than it had been earlier. 

Jean's smirk falters ever so slightly. 

"Maybe it is" 

"Well pretend that it isn't". 

Jean nods and mouths "Okay". 

"Only if you take your eyes off of Eren for five seconds, and if you stop laughing at everything he says, it makes you look desperate." 

You purse your lips and take a deep breath. 

"Okay" you concede. You weren't going to make any progress if all you did was bicker. 

"We got away with it at Ymir's party because everyone assumed we were new at it and didn't know what we were doing, but to make them jealous we have to give at least the impression that we're serious about this" Jean's smile drops as he sees the serious look on your face. 

"So we have to actually look like a couple. Act like a couple. Otherwise no one is going to believe us. Hell, even the barista couldn't tell we were 'dating'. We have to convince everyone" You hold his gaze, looking determined. 

He nods. 

There was a lingering question in the air. Did you both still hold the same opinions about pda? 

"Kissing is still off the table, but I think we should try hugging and maybe cheek kisses to seem more believable". He voices the suggestion casually, mirroring your thoughts. 

Being and affectionate and intimate with you was in no way appealing, but he considered it a necessary evil. It was worth it if it helped him get closer to being with Mikasa

"Yes that's a good idea" you sound uncharacteristically professional. You were relieved that lip kisses were still completely off the table, and you were comfortable with the boundaries he suggested. 

There's a long pause. 

"I'm gonna talk to Mikasa about some kind of double date. A proper one, just us four, some time later in the week. What days are you free?" Planning a date felt weirdly clinical, but then again there was nothing genuine about your arrangement. 

Jean scratched his head, his hands ruffling through his champagne coloured locks. 

"Friday, I think". 

You nod. Friday worked for you too. 

"Okay well see you then". You shifted in your chair, ready to escape the coffee shop. 

"See you" His brown eyes glinted, that strangely piercing quality about them present again. 

You immediately look away and push open the coffee shop door, coffee cup in hand. 

The sloshing of the drink made you realise you hadn't taken more than a few sups of the drink. Most likely because you were too busy arguing with Jean.

How had he managed to get into your head?

Jean was a bundle of contradictions. He was either suffocatingly quiet and stoic, like he had been during Ymir's party and during the class you had had together earlier. Or he was so obnoxious that you wanted to rip him into shreds, like he'd been in the closet, and on your coffee shop 'dates'. You couldn't wrap your head around it. 

Well at the very least a double date with Eren and Mikas looked promising. Even if it failed entirely it was bound to be... interesting. 


	9. double date

You were seated opposite Jean. Mikasa sat next to you. The seat next to her remained empty.

Eren was late. It wasn't altogether surprising, and you stared at the empty seat as though he'd materialise in its place. Jean let out his fifth sigh, no doubt he was going to grill Eren with questions as soon as he entered the restaurant.

You were surprised to see he had put some effort into his look for the date, he was wearing a black sweatshirt with a white collar poking up from underneath, his signature chain necklace touching the collar. It was an outfit you would have picked out, you admitted to yourself, and considered asking him where he had gotten his shirt before deciding against it. His ego didn't need inflating. His hair also seemed more deliberately styled than usual, parted at the side in its usual way with his undercut peaking through. You too, had decided to dress up for the occasion, and wore a pleated tennis skirt, having paired it with a top with a lowcut neckline. The outfit showed a lot of skin, with your chest and legs on display, and you were okay with that. Anything to get Eren to look at you that hungry way he had on Saturday. 

Jean had glanced over your outfit, but his gaze didn't linger anywhere specific. He also immediately looked away when you caught him staring. 

You peered at the clock on the wall of the restauranr. Eren was fifteen minutes late. You didn't need to look at the clock though, the fierce look on Jean's face was evidence of how much time had passed. 

Eren walked into the restaurant, swaggering up to the table. He had on a plain black tee shirt paired with some jeans. What stood out most from his outfit however was the hickey on the side of his neck. You gulped and forced your eyes to look at anything else but the purple bruise. 

Jean's eyes narrowed, focusing on Eren as he approached. He took a deep breath suppressing the urge to argue in favour of not ruining the date. Or at least lowering the chances of it going terribly, although that was likely to happen at some point. 

You looked at Jean, trying to discern the rage that had flooded his features. Something about the way he clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes, his long thick brows framing his piercing gaze, was truly mesmerising to look at. 

"Hey guys"

You turned your head, remembering that Eren had finally arrived to join. 

You offered him a quick glance but didn't trust yourself to hold his gaze for long, turning back to look at Jean seated in front of you. But you didn't need to look at Eren to _feel_ the way his eyes travelled up and down you, inspecting you in the way he always did. The look on Jean's face hardened as he regarded the way Eren was looking at you, as though he was undressing you with his eyes. Eren really had no shame, not an ounce of respect for him or you, and it boiled his blood just thinking about it. 

Your eyes were still trained on Jean, finding it easier to inspect the slight changes in his expression than confront any of Eren's suggestive comments and taunts. Confronting him after he had so obviously and shamelessly checked you out would only make things worse. 

"Sit down." 

Everyone turned to look at Mikasa, as though they were just reminded she was there. She spoke softly but it was enough to dissipate the tension, at least some of it, for now. 

Eren sat down, shuffling in his seat, his arm reaching the back of the sofa seat to lean on. His hand was a hairs-breadth away from Jean's hair. Jean stilled. 

The look that he gave Eren was enough to make him snake his hand reluctantly back down, instead opting to lean with his hand beneath his chin, his elbow touching the table. 

His forearms were only inches away from you and were surprisingly toned. Do not look at them, you told yourself.

"We've already chosen what we were going to order, it's just you left"

Eren eyes drifted towards Mikasa and he smiled at her. The smile he gave was not provocative and had no hint of malice, it was the most genuine smile you'd seen on his face. Your heart pace quickened, the familiar feeling of jealousy stirring. With Mikasa he had no ulterior motives, he wasn't performing or putting on an act, she was privy to a side of him you'd only dreamed you'd once get to know. 

"I don't know, you choose for me" 

He said the words softly and looked into her eyes, lifting his head from his palm. 

She nodded wordlessly, and started to search for a waiter to come take everyone's orders. 

The way he had looked at her, so lovingly and kindly, the thought alone would have made you explode right in front of everyone at the restaurant. But Mikasa showed no sign of difference, except the slight pink blush in her cheeks. 

It's as though they were speaking a language only the two of them knew. They had the ability to read each other without needing to talk or discuss things. It made sense since they were friends since childhood, but that didn't make it hurt to watch any less. You looked over Jean and he had a similar look of longing on his face, his face had softened as his eyes focused on Mikasa. Yup, you thought to yourself, you were both absolutely screwed. 

"So how'd helping Jean out with the assignment go?" 

Snarky Eren had returned armed with an odd choice of words and tone that suggested air quotes around the words "helping" and "out". 

Oh yeah, you had forgotten how abruptly you'd left the group that day. It wasn't a completely unreasonable conclusion to make.

Jean resorted to rolling his eyes so you decided to rise up to his challenge yourself.

"Well we both helped each other out, we figured out what to do together". 

You met Eren's eyes and gave him what you hoped was a confident looking smile.

Your reply wasn't technically suggestive but the answer was there if Eren was looking for it. And he was. 

Eren's eyes widened and he let out a scoff. 

"Oh and what grade do you think you're gonna get?" 

Eren wasn't quitting. It was taking you some time to try and decipher the meaning around his words. It felt like talking in code. 

"An A"

Jean interjected. He spoke briskly, maintaining a steely gaze in Eren's direction. 

"Oh yeah" Eren wasn't convinced. "What do you think y/n?"

What the hell were they talking about? 

"An A plus" You were hesitant. Was that the right answer?

Eren's eyes widened and the corner of Jean's mouth turned up into a smirk. 

"Really?" Eren repeated incredulously, looking from between you and Jean. 

"Yes." You ignore him and turn to focus directly on Jean, staring into the dark brown pools of his eyes. You finally understood. He was asking you to "grade" the sex you two had allegedly had. It was kind of childish how he made everything relate to sex, but then again that was just typical Eren behaviour. Well truthfully you wouldn't settle for someone bad in bed, even if it's in a fake relationship. 

"In fact I think its the best assignment he's- I mean we've ever done". You spoke the words slowly and quietly, your eyes still trained on Jean.

His smirk only intensifies and he looks straight back at you. His eyes slowly drift to your collar bone, your chest and then back up to your eyes. He checks you out slowly and deliberately, nothing like the quick glance he had given you when you had arrived at the restaurant. He took his time, leaving goosebumps wherever his eyes trailed. You gulped, not letting your gaze falter. It felt like an unspoken challenge. The first one to break eye contact or look away would lose. How uncomfortable could you make each other feel? Well two could play at that game.

You shift your line of sight, fixing your eyes on his lips, lazily looking up at his eyes and back down to them. You hear Jean breath hitch ever so slightly so you do it again, except this time not shifting back to look at his eyes, instead focusing directly on his lips. You are unprepared for the way he leans forward, propping up his hand on his elbow for balance. His face is now only inches away from yours. You feel locked in place, frozen beneath his piercing gaze unable to move or look away from his lips. You know that if you you look away if even for a moment, you will lose. His eyes drift down to your lips this time, as though mimicking your movements. At the same he inches towards you slowly closing the gap between the two of you. 

Shit was he actually going to do it? Your heart is hammering now. You thought you'd agreed on no kissing? Would you be able to stop him if he did try to kiss you? And if you did, would you guys expose yourselves as a fake couple. 

You barely register Jean tilting his head moving even closer towards you. You are only brought back to reality from the unanswered questions swirling in your head when you feel his lips softly press against your cheek, planting a brief kiss. His lips feel unbelievably soft, nothing like his slightly rough calloused hands. Did he use chapstick, you thought, letting out a small sigh of relief when he pulled back, your cheek free of the warm touch of his lips. 

You couldn't see yourself but you could feel yourself blushing and didn't doubt for a second that you probably looked as flustered and confused as you probably felt. 

You glanced back at Eren and noticed Mikasa had returned back to the table. They had definitely seen that. Eren looked amused, as though watching you two was as entertaining as watching a mildly funny Netflix show. Mikasa looked confused at first, but then her face relaxed into a smile. You immediately looked away, searching for nothing in particular in the window on your left side. 

"She doesn't really like pda" Jean breaks the silence, offering some explanation for your awkward behaviour. 

"Really? I thought you were really into that kind of sappy stuff? Remember that girl you used to date... what was her name again? You guys used to be all over each other? It was disgusting." Eren was prodding, clearly trying to stary something

Jean shrugs. 

"Everyone's different I guess. She's not into it, so I respect that". He refuses to rise to Eren's bait and instead looks wistfully in your direction. To the others it must have looked romantic but you feel irritated aware that he was just teasing you. It wasn't only you who had opposed pda, he had been equally against it when you had discussed it on the first date. You hated how shy it made you look to Eren, you didn't want him to see as someone bashful and reserved. Maybe your agreed rules on pda needed changing. 

"Well there's nothing wrong with keeping shit private" You turn back to the group coming across as more defensive than you had intended. You look over at the hickey on Eren's neck accusingly. 

"I wasn't the one eye-fucking in the middle of a restaurant" Eren retorts. 

You are interrupted by the waiter arriving at your table with your orders. You swallow the reply poised on your tongue. You were secretly grateful, you couldn't really deny that you and Jean had at the very least been making intense eye contact. 

You all murmur thank yous to the waiter and the tension dissolves as you are all preoccupied with tending to your rumbling stomachs. 

Several minutes passes before Mikasa sparks up a conversation.

"So are you two in the same class?"

You look up from your plate. 

"Yeah we only realised last week though, Connie is in it too actually." 

Mikasa nods. 

Another moment of silence passes. 

Either its insanely intense of insanely awkward, could this double date not just be normal for one minute?

"How was work?" Eren poses the question towards Mikasa, looking up at her in between spoonfuls. 

It feels almost like a normal date as Mikasa makes small talk about her shifts at the alternative store. She talks about her manager and coworkers and annoying customers. You aren't really paying attention, more interested in the way Eren's looking at her with full concentration. You don't even doubt for a second that she has his full attention. Jean, too, glances in their direction, not letting his gaze linger too long on Mikasa. 

Distracted by looking at them, your fork misses your mouth and you dumbly prod your left cheek with pasta.

The sauce residue sits on your cheek and you sigh, fumbling around the table for a napkin. 

You look quickly at Eren and Mikasa but they seem to not have noticed your mishap. 

Just as you reach for the napkin you feel of the tissue crease against you, moving swiftly to clean your cheek. Its held in place by a hand and you follow it long only to look up and see Jean, a faint smile on his cheek, reaching towards you. 

Eren and Mikasa sense the movement and look over towards the two of you. Jean slowly draws his hand away crumpling the napkin in his fist.

Mikasa sighs. She couldn't deny that it hurt, maybe a little, to see you two like this. To see how delicately Jean had kissed you and how attentive he was, it made her heart ache with longing. It's not that she harboured any romantic feelings towards Jean, no, that couldn't be it, it just made it painfully obvious how much she lacked with Eren. Sure he cared about her and listened to her but it was never like _that_. All that she had with Eren was painfully platonic, and seeing the two of look so genuinely in love with one another, wasn't as easy as she thought it would be.

Why was he so patronising? You bite back the response in your head and instead offer him a forced smile.

"Why do you always eat so messily?" So he was provoking you. You ignore him and look at the group. The look on Mikasa's face is telling you that she is eating it up. She sure as hell looks convinced that the two of you are in love. You take a deep breath refusing to rise to his bait. 

"We all have flaws." Your response sounds childishly positive and the smirk on Jean's face makes you want to take it back immediately, but you don't. Normal couples don't randomly start fighting in the middle of a restaurant. Well healthy couples at least. 

The conversation meanders, and you somehow go from discussing your classes and part-time jobs to discussing Ymir's party. 

"Did Jean get you home safely then, he didn't try anything?" Eren says playfully, with a hint of accusation. 

Jean glares at him. 

"Oh yeah I did, he gave me a lift" You say dumbly, unaware of what he's insinuating. 

"I wouldn't try anything you know I'm like that" Jean says calmly. 

"You never know, it's not always the person you expect"

You notice an uneasy feeling and can't ignore how it unsettles you to see Eren talks about potential assault so trivially. You didn't expect him to be too socially conscious but you didn't appreciate how he made light of that kind of thing. But then again what did you expect, he was a college fuckboy. 

A moment of silence passes but the tension in the room remains palpable.

"Why did you have to go and fuck Hitch, you know that Connie liked her?" Jean diverts the conversations, his eyes narrowing. 

"She was into me, what was I supposed to do?" Eren shrugs. 

"You know what I mean-"

"Oh come on, you still can't be pissed about-"

"Shut up" Jean says the words quietly but Eren listens. 

"Oh come on, are you worried I am going to do the same thing again? Look y/n's not into me and she's dating you, you have no reason to be insecure right?" His voice is heavy with mocking. 

He looks up at you as though for confirmation. 

You swallow your food slowly and nod, not trusting yourself to be able to defend yourself with words. 

But his eyes suggest that isn't enough and you clear your throat readying yourself to answer. 

"Yeah sorry you're not my type." You muster the response glancing quickly at Eren's green eyes before staring back at your plate. There was that all too familiar dangerous glint to them and you didn't let yourself look at them for long. 

Eren's eyes widen for a second for the briefest moment before relaxing, and he nods in approval. 

"Exactly, see she's all yours, nothing to worry about". 

"She doesn't belong to me, she's a person you know" Jean corrects him. 

"Oh yeah of course" Eren waves his hand dismissively. 

Mikasa looks sheepishly in between the two boys and glances over at you offering you a sympathetic smile. You smile back, grateful for the reminder that you weren't alone. 

You peer at the clock again, desperate to reach the dates end. 

Mikasa tries to spark up conversation again by mentioning a film that had just been released, but the conversation that follows is dry and forced the awkwardness heavy in the air. 

Jean keeps shooting glances in your direction, looking at you expectantly. 

You spot him glance desperately up at the clock and understand. 

He want to escape from this hellish date and he's relying on you to provide him with an excuse. 

"Umm I actually have an appointment to go to and Jean's gonna drop me off, sorry but I have to leave guys". 

You bite the inside of your cheek and look at the floor. You had never really been that good at lying. 

The smirk on Eren's face let's you know that he isn't even slightly convinced by your excuse but he makes no comment. Even Mikasa raises her eyebrows, since this was the first she'd heard of about your 'appointment'. 

Jean lets out a sigh of relief and silently moves to prepare to leave. 

You shuffle awkwardly in your seat, reaching for your bag and coat. 

You both make your way to leave wordlessly. You are startled to feel Jean's rough hands brush up against yours, searching for an invitation to hold yours. You relax into his touch, appreciating the sense of balance and stability it gave you. 

There was no debating it. That had definitely been the most awkward and uncomfortable date you had every been on. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys,  
> Tysm so much for all the lovely comments ❤️❤️❤️ it makes me so happy reading them all 😭 sorry if this update took a while, i was kinda suffering from writers block and also had to catch up with a lott of uni work. But im back and ill try to update this more regularly, maybe ill even upload another chapter tomorrow?? Again i appreciate all the kudos and comments. Sorry if this chapter is a bit meh, i rlly struggled wirh writing it for some reason. Anyways hope you enjoy xxx


	10. Chapter 10

You felt Eren's eyes still trailing you as you followed Jean's lead, leaving the restaurant.

"Well that was a complete shitshow" 

You turn to face Jean and his expression is halfway between amused and frustrated.

You part your mouth and then immediately shut it, deciding against denying it. He wasn't wrong in the slightest.

"I don't think Eren's convinced." 

You muster out looking at anywhere but directly at Jean. The reason Eren wasn't convinced was mostly to do with you. Jean kissing you in the restaurant looked as foreign as it felt to you. Your expression had made it clear as day. There was no way that Eren would be convinced that you two had anything physical going between you.

Jean scoffs.

"He's not. You'll know he's convinced when he actually makes a move to try and get in your pants. Right now he's just teasing you. Eren gets off on taking things that aren't his. It's all a fucking game to him. But he won't want you until he thinks I'm actually in love with you and that we're actually fucking. Which right now, no one believes. Not even Connie and the others."

Jean had casually pulled out a packet of cigarettes from his left pocket, pulling one out with the same hand, expertly placing it between his lips. His right hand was still holding on to you, loosely gripping your hand, his warm palm against yours. 

You raised your eyebrows, choosing to avoid addressing his pessimistic ramblings. But you couldn't ignore how much resentment lay behind his words. The Eren that Jean knew was a stranger to you, nothing like the Eren with the glinting green eyes and honeyed tongue that haunted your subconscious. You swallow, opting to address the cigarette, which was now lit, that was perched between his lips. 

"Didn't know you smoked." You say, amused. 

Jean's eyes narrow and he senses your mockery. He draws the cigarette away from his mouth, exhaling a cloud of smoke before replying. 

"I prefer it to weed and alcohol. It's not like I'm addicted, it just... Helps take the edge off. I know i should probably quit though" He muses, a faraway look in his eye. 

You pause for a moment considering the way he brings the cigarette to his lips again, only to draw it away a few moments later to exhale. Those same lips that were pressed against your cheek not long ago. The way he smoked, so leisurely and effortlessy, it might as well have been an advert for a cigarette brand. He had the look down to the t, with his chain necklace and long blond hair brushed back and undercut peaking underneath. You take a deep breath and look into the distance. 

"You really hate him." You say it quietly more to yourself than to him and he doesn't respond. 

"Mikasa's probably the most convinced out of everyone. But that's because she couldn't even imagine us lying about this kind of thing. She only sees the good in people. " Jean sighs, continuing his train of thought. 

The conversation is starting to feel heavily one sided so you brace yourself, suddenly struck with an idea. 

"What if we... practised stuff? So that the next time we meet up we seem more convincing?" Your pose the question hesitantly, searching Jean's eyes. 

Jean doesn't meet your eyes and he continues looking into the distance. 

He nods slowly, drawing another drag from his cigarette. 

"And not just the physical stuff, like we practised what to say? We could script stuff to make things easier for us?" You sound more assured, convinced by your own idea. 

Jean raises his eyebrows surprised by your forwardness. He had been thinking the same thing but hearing you say it made him suppress a small smile. 

"That's a good idea. It's not enough for Eren to think we're fucking he has to think I have feelings for you. And Mikasa will see how much she's missing out on by chasing Eren, and that I wouldn't treat her like that." 

He finally turns around and looks at you, the dark wells of his pupils staring into your own. You take a deep breath, maintaining eye contact. Something about his piercing eyes always made you uneasy, they had a quality about them that made you feel like he could see right through you, down to your bones. But at the same time you found it impossible to look away. 

Jean was honestly an enigma to you. One second he'd be awkward, unable to even look you in the eye, another second he'd mercilessly tease you, and before you knew it he'd change to being calm and collected, staring at you in a way that suggested he knew everything there was to know about you. Whenever you thought you'd had him figured out, he'd show a completely different side to his personality that you hadn't seen before. 

"Text me when you're free so we can organise something, should we do it at your dorm or mine?" the words leave your lips before you have the chance to realise what it sounded like. 

You bite back the urge to correct yourself. He knew what you meant. 

"Mine. I'll text you." His lips quirks up into his familar smirk and he takes another drag from his cigarette. He looks away from you and his head turns up, pausing before a building. 

You follow his line of sight, only just realising you were both standing outside your dorm. You were surprised he knew the way, but then a vague memory resurfaces. Oh yeah, he had dropped you off that time before. 

"Bye" You give him a quick wave and heading to your building. He nods and turns on his heel to walk away. 

There was something different about him. 

Jean glanced back behind his shoulder watching you walk up to your dorm building. His eyes absent mindedly trailed down the shape of your hips and thighs. He didn't feel guilty, after all he was preparing himself for your future "date". 

Your hunch wasn't wrong, something had definitely changed. 

Seeing how Eren was acting on the date, shamelessly teasing you right in front of him, unlocked another kind of rage in Jean. He'd managed to calm himself with his nicotine fix and avoiding looking at you for too long but now that you couldn't see him, he balled his fists in anger. 

He had to have Mikasa. He'd have to take from Eren the one person that never left his side, the one person that never abandoned him, besides Armin. Eren dangled Mikasa's love for him in front of Jean without mercy, reminding him of what he could never have. This wasn't even just about Mikasa, what about the countless other girls Eren had done the same too? It had to stop. 

Jean smiled to himself. He had to have Mikasa, not matter what it took. Formalities and awkwardness were a thing of the past, from now on he was going to treat you like his girlfriend. Fuck his feelings, if he had to fuck you in order to make this ridicilous plan work, then he would. It had been your idea to "practise" after all. 

Besides, he thought to himself, thinking about the shape of your curves in that black silk dress. You weren't half bad looking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy,  
> things r gonna start picking up in this fic, things r gonna get spicier 😳 sorry for the filler the next chapters will have some more action. Hope u enjoyed! Thanks so much for the kudos and comments i rlly appreciate it😭😭


	11. Chapter 11

The weekend went by and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Not that you needed any more drama your date on Friday had been more than enough for you.

You had gone over the events in your head, the awkwardness of it all still fresh in your memory. You couldn't stop thinking about Jean on the walk home, there had definitely been something off about him. Also, he still hadn't texted you, but then again it was just Monday. Hang on, why did you care? You shook away the thoughts as you made your way to the university library.

After picking up a latte from the cafe you made your way to a table, arranging your stuff to begin studying. You had just sat down when you stilled, feeling the presence of someone approaching you.

"Hey y/n".

You'd recognise the way your name rolled off that tongue anywhere. It was Eren.

His hair looked as effortlessly tousled as ever as he ran his hand through it. An easy smile played across his face, the kind thar suggested it was a pleasant surprise to see you here unexpected.

In reality he had purposefully seeked you out but you didn't know that.

His green eyes looked straight into your eyes, not travelling down your body the way you were used to. Eren looked out of place in a library, amongst the bookshelves and workspaces. The only context you could imagine Eren belonging in the library was... compromising ones. You couldn't deny that you had had less than innocent thoughts about you and Eren in the library but that was the last thing you needed to be thinking about.

You gulped pushing those thoughts into the furthest corner of your mind. 

"Hey" you replied cheerfully, smiling back. You felt yourself ease. There was nothing flirtatious about his tone, he just sounded friendly. Good, you thought, at least then you wouldn't get flustered. 

"Could I sit down?" He gestures the seat next to you. 

You nodded. Well goodbye to the prospect of actually studying. Not that you were complaining. 

He had a single textbook with him, no notebooks or laptop in sight. He opened the textbook on a random page and traced his fingers over the words. If it weren't for Armin, Eren would definitely be failing all of his classes, instead of some of them. 

You opened up your notes, preparing yourself to at least try to study, even though Eren was centimetres away from you. 

He turned around to face you, his arm brushing against yours for the briefest second. Your breath catches in your throat. His eyes search yours and you muster the courage to look back at him. 

"Look, I'm sorry about the other day. I was acting like a dick. I was trying to mess with Jean but I didn't mean to bring you into it".

His eyebrows are turned up apologetically and he looks genuiely remorseful. You note than even like this, apologising to you, he looks breathtaking. You steady your breathing before replying. 

"No its fine". You wave your hand dismissively. 

Jean could never back down or apologise like this you thought to yourself. Jean was too stubborn and self righteous to even think he was wrong for even just a second. 

"It's just weird you know, I never thought you and Jean would date. Felt like he was too stuck up for you. I don't know I just thought you'd be into someone who was a bit more _fun_ ". He picks up your pencil case, turning it around in his hands. 

"It's just surprising that's all. I was just wrong about you. Anyways, I think you guys look good together" He shrugs and smiles at you. 

Did Eren just say you looked good? Well technically he was talking about you and Jean, but you didn't dwell on that. 

You suppress the urge to correct him. You didn't want Eren to think you weren't any fun but you couldn't correct him without exposing your fake relationship. 

"Thank you" you reply. 

"You're welcome" He gives a cheesy grin. 

Barely five minutes pass of you trying (and failing) to study before he interrupts you again. 

"Wow you're so smart y/n" He peered at the document you had up. It was the draft of an essay that you were half way through writing. You'd barely managed to get a sentence written with Eren sat next to you though. 

You felt your cheeks heat. One small compliment made you feel like this, what was wrong with you? Your infatuation with Eren hadn't lessened but it had been a while since you'd been able to revel in his praise. His compliments were what had you hooked to him (besides his ridiculously good looks). Being the subject of his attention was intoxicating. He had the ability of making you feel like you were the only person that mattered, and you were addicted to it.

You don't trust yourself to reply. 

"Look I need a smart persons advice on something" He starts. 

You look up from your laptop back at him, prompting him to start talking with a nod. His one compliment had basically rendered you mute. 

"Well there's this girl I like but she has a boyfriend-" he starts and pauses. Your breath hitches, had it really worked so quickly? Was Eren actually jealous? 

"We've hooked up a couple times and now she wants to break up with him to date me but I don't want to. Cos like deep down I actually like someone else, what do you think I should do?". 

You heart felt heavy one second and full of hope the next. There was still a small possibility that it was about you. 

You gulp, weighing out Eren's choices in your head. 

"I think you should tell her and you should break things off with her since it's unfair to her. I think you should figure out your feelings for that person before you date anyone else" It's fairly good advice, if you do say so yourself. Your confident in your response and feel pride swell in your chest when Eren nods in approval, considering your thoughts. 

"I think that's a good idea. I need to be more considerate to people. It's just not my fault when I say I don't want anything serious and girls expect more you know. Sometimes you just wanna fuck, right? " he explains. 

Ok, hearing Eren say "fuck" was way hotter than you thought it'd be. It threw you off and you nodded unconvincingly. 

Eren regards your hesitancy. 

"You know like a one night stand?" He explains further. 

You murmer a "yeah" but Eren remains unconvinced. 

"Have you ever had a one night stand before?" He prompts. 

You avoid his gaze and look at the laptop screen sheepishly. 

"I mean thats fair, not everyone is about that-" 

"It's not that, it's just I never found the right person" you rush to explain yourself. You didn't want Eren to think you were inexperienced (which was closer to the truth than you liked to admit.)

Eren raised his eyebrows in disbelief. 

"Really? Not that you need that, since you've got horseface" It felt an awful lot like Eren was reminding you that you were in a relationship. 

"Yeah exactly" you reply hurriedly. 

In your flustered state you knocked over a pen and you watched as it pathetically rolled on to the floor. You were just about to reach for it but Eren beat you to it, his arm slinking down to reach for the pen. As he pulled his arm his fingers grazed your bare legs, and you willed yourself not to shiver. Eren spun the pen in between his fingers before holding it out to you. You awkwardly took it and held it in your palm. 

Eren runs his hand through his hair. 

"Anyways I get the feeling I'm just distracting you, we're hanging out in my dorm on Friday, you better come right?" he points a finger gun at you accusingly. 

"Yeah I will." You smile despite yourself, your cheeks will probably hurt from how much they've been smiling so stupidly. 

He turns to leave and your eyes follow him as he exists through the front entrance. 

Suddenly a ping noise grabs your attention. You look at your phone screen now flashing with a notification. 

_Horseface: does wednesday after class work for you?_

You blink a couple times startled by the message. It takes a minute for you to process it. You wait another minute before replying. 

_Y/n: yh sure see you then_

Barely a minute passes before Jean's reply.

_Horseface: see you x_

What was with the x? You thought to yourself. You took comfort in it as a sign that Jean was back to his annoying self, not the brooding aloof version of himself he had been the other day.

You took a deep breath. You had to convince them. You were sure Eren liked you, and even if it were a little bit it was enough. You couldn't stop thinking about him. Honestly you were getting desperate. If it meant going outside your comfort zone with Jean then so be it. You were willing to try anything that would make Eren want you. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heres another chapter today, hope you enjoy xxx


	12. practise

You shifted awkwardly. You were seated on the edge of Jean's bed, your legs dangling off the edge. Your finger fumbled, fiddling with your sleeve. You had just arrived at Jean's dorm, having left your class together to head straight back to his. You were alone a moment in his room as he busied himself in the kitchen to get you a drink. You had decided on plain water. You didn't need anything that would provoke your anxiety. You looked around his room trying to distract yourself, your eyes stopping to notice a Pulp Fiction poster on the wall. 

In truth, sitting in a class right next to Jean, knowing that soon you'd be alone with him in his dorm, proved immensely difficult. The last hour and a half had tested your nerves and your strength had been waning. Any response you managed to offer him had been mumbled and incoherent. To say you were sightly anxious about the whole affair, would be an understatement. 

Jean entered the room, a glass full of water in hand. He regarded the way you fidgeted, eyes trained on the floor. 

"Hey y/n" You look up at him. He smiles at you but you look away feeling patronised. Still, you accept the drink and take a small sip from the cup. You felt the bed dip beside you with Jean's weight as he takes a seat next to you. You draw the cup away from your mouth, taking a deep breath. 

You turned to face him, letting the cup rest on Jean's bedside table. It stood beside a worn looking book of poetry, and you knew that were you not so anxious, you wouldn't hesitate to make fun of him for it. 

Strands of his dirty blond hair fell loose from the rest of his hair, framing the sides of his face. Light shone from the window on your left and caught his eye, the dark brown irises looking more like a gradient of different shades of brown, than the usual dark pools you looked into. His lip quirked up into a smirk but there was no malice behind it, his eyes full of understanding. 

"Look I can tell you're nervous. It's okay we'll take things slowly. I'm not going to do anything you're uncomfortable with." He looked at you kindly, but his earnestness caught you off guard. You knew he probably meant well but hated feeling pitied. You didn't want Jean to think you were weak or shy, not when you were so sure that he had been the awkward one for so long. 

You stay silent and hold his gaze, not letting yourself falter. 

It had been your idea after all, why had you gotten yourself so worked up about it? As much as you tried to keep up a cocky and confident appearance around Jean, you found him impossible to understand. You knew Eren for what he was, he was a fuckboy who had some no so nice qualities about him. But he didn't try to hide any of it, he owned it all. Jean was different. You felt like you only knew about ten per cent of his actual personality, and now you were going to possibly make out with him?

You shake your head. Eren had been right, you were a prude. It wasn't a big deal, you had to get it out the way if you were serious about making Mikasa and Eren jealous. Besides you couldn't be this prude if you wanted to possibly be Eren's future girlfriend. You clear your throat. 

"What if we talk first? Say somethings we like about each other... find compliments?" You break your silence, steering the conversation away from mentioning anything physical, at least for now. 

Jean nodded, sliding his palms back down the bed behind him, so that he was leaning on them, his shirt creating a shadow beneath him, as the fabric clung to his chest. You could roughly make a vague outline, that was probably his abs, you thought. His arms flexed as he leaned on them, and your eyes trailed veins and muscle. Jean's eyes were following a similar pursuit, as he cocked his head to the side letting his eyes travel from the shape of your face down to your collar bone, which was on full display, alongside your shoulders since you chosen a tank top to put on. You had decided on wearing the cute lacey top this morning without thinking on it too much, and now you felt self conscious with so much of your skin exposed. 

"You're pretty." He looks up just before his eyes trace your chest, meeting your eyes. 

'Pretty'? You repeated the word to yourself in your head.

You take a deep breath. 

"You're hot I guess. I mean you are built" You only look at his eyes for a second, glancing at his arms and chest to provide some kind of explanation. 

"Not really my type though" You follow up. Shit, complimenting was much harder than you thought. 

"I think that goes both ways." Of course, that familiar air of awkwardness had to return. 

"I like your hair". You say absentmindedly as you traced shapes on your thigh. 

Jean scoffs. 

You breathe heavily readying yourself to start an argument. You couldn't stand being made fun of, especially since he knew how vulnerable the whole situation made you feel. 

Noticing you glare at him, Jean interjects your thoughts, to defend himself. 

"It's just that I assumed you had a thing for long hair, 'cos you know Eren." 

You sigh, relaxing. Jean glanced at you, as your eyes left his to focus on the floor. Seeing you like this, so shy and meek, utterly unlike the insufferable and defensive side of you he was used to, entertained him to say the least. He grinned at you, unable to stop himself, revelling in the power. He definitely had the upper hand, well at least within these four walls. Urged by this newfound courage he move his hand, shifting it so that it rested against yours, the one that was tracing shapes in your thigh. You stilled. 

His thumb moved over your knuckles, brushing over them comfortingly. It felt different. Holding hands in public was nothing more than a performance to you both. This was different. He didn't need to be so gentle, no one else would witness any of it but the two of you. 

You look up from the floor and look into his eyes expectantly. Your eyes had lost any of the apprehension from earlier, instead they challenged him. He looked pack at you, piercing through you with those dark brown irises. His eyes bore into yours quizzing you before the question left his lips. 

"What?" The word was barely audible but it punctuated the air, lingering unanswered between you. 

You gulped. There was no way you had the courage to use your words. 

Noticing your hesitance, Jean seeks another opportunity to tease you. 

"I like how you're finally quiet" He smirks knowingly. 

"Shut up and just do it" You sputter out. Anything to stop him from being so annoying. You knew you weren't in a state where you could properly engage in his banter and the last thing you wanted was to look more pathetic than you already did. 

"Do what?" Jean fails to mask his mockery, his voice heavy with sarcasm. 

"You know what" You say between gritted teeth. 

"I need to hear you say it, I don't want any miscommunication". A bullshit excuse you thought to yourself, he just wanted to see you struggle. 

"Kiss me" You force the words out of your mouth. You practically hiss the words, fuelled by irritation. 

"Whats the magic word-"

"Don't". You grit your teeth in frustration. Jean smirks and looks away from you. He doesn't move for a moment, instead watching his thumb travel up grazing your knuckles.

He finally moves, shifting himself and now he was sitting upright, his head head levelled with yours. 

You stare at him expectantly. You felt your heart was in your throat, the rapid heartbeat drumming in your ears. Was he doing it on purpose or did it actually feel like everything was moving in slow motion?

His face inches towards yours, and you barely notice it until he's merely a few centimetres away from you. A flashback resurfaces, it had only been a few days since you had seen him like this, up so close. 

You watch as his long blond eyelashes flutter shut, his lips hovering just above yours. You feel frozen, unable to move. He pauses for a moment before kissing you, his lips missing yours and pressing on to the skin near the corner of your lips. You sigh, exasperated. You were sick of his games.

"Jean you know what i-"

You're cut off as his lips brush against yours before applying enough pressure to give you a peck. Instinctively you close your eyes shut, hoping it would help calm you down. He gives you another peck, his lips feeling as impossibly soft as they had the other day. His lips move to peck you again only for you to part your mouth every so slightly, so that Jean could sense your warm breath against his. It had been impulsive, your lips moving as though they had a mind of their own, acting on muscle memory. He took this as an invitation to lock lips, tilting his head as he did. This didn't feel too bad, you thought to your as you felt the kiss deepen. His tongue lightly wets your bottom lip. You gulp. You could do this. You extend your tongue and accept him into your mouth. He controls the kiss and you follow his lead, relaxing as you let his tongue guide yours. You felt yourself getting lost in the kiss, dizzy from the lack of air. 

He is the one to pull back and you take a second, panting and trying to catch your breath. Barely a minute passes before his lips are pressed against yours again, accompanied by his hands which have found your hips and are prodding at your sides, moving in circles. The break from the kiss invigorates you and you kiss him back with more agency, challenging his tongue with yours. You bring up your hands, which had so far been lying limp at your sides, using one to grip his shoulder and the other to push through his hair. You are fuelled by something, probably all that pent up rage and frustration, and it errs you on, telling you to push your chest flush against his. 

Jean momentarily looses balance, falling back on to the bed as you follow and fall on top, unintentionally straddling him. You don't let the moment phase you using your position to take control of the kiss, untangling your hand from his hair and placing your hand flat on his chest. It feels refreshing, a kind of outlet for all the pent up anxiety and tension. You move your hips experimentally, so that you just brush up against his crotch. This elicits a sound from Jean, and he groans into the kiss. You are just about to do it again, before you feel hands the hands gripping your hips, swiftly move you so that you were lying on your back.

You feel slightly winded by the sudden movement, and the bed thuds in response to the your weight. Jean pulls back from the kiss without warning. He looks at the way your panting for air, a smirk etched onto his face. You feel his chain necklace dangle against you, the cool metal hitting your chin as it swayed. He didn't move, and instead took his time to look at you, looking at you as though he didn't recognise you. 

You finish catching your breath and look into his piercing eyes, which you notice have a devilish glint to them that you haven't seen before. You feel uneasy. 

Jean licks his lips, his teeth catching his bottom lip as he gently bit it. His hands were on either side of your face, and his face barely centimetres away from yours.

You shift, feeling sheepish. The way he was looking at you was unnerving. 

"Can I give you a hickey?" The words that leave his lips in a tone that you have never heard from Jean before. It so gravelly that you feel it vibrating against you, but surely you must be imagining that? His question surprises you but you respond without thinking, nodding instinctively.

Jean doesn't move. 

You sigh, clearing your throat to speak. 

"Umm Yes, Yes you can". Your voice sounds hoarse, and you hate how unsure you sound. You thought you had proved yourself earlier, acting like anything but the shy and meek person you had transformed into when alone with Jean. But now Jean had the upper hand again. 

Jean looked down at you and he couldn't help but smile. You looked so desperate, your face flushed, hair tousled and messy around your head, your voice stuttering. He takes a moment to regard your expression before latching his lips on to your neck. 

You hiss, the air passing between your teeth as he begins sucking the sensitive skin. You purse your lips, stifling any sounds that could involuntarily leave your mouth. The sensation sends you reeling, and you grit your teeth in an effort to control yourself. He must be an expert at this, you think, as you begin feeling the slight ache, as he continued his movements. It was a foreign sensation to you, since no one had ever given you one before, and you felt a sense of longing as you felt his lips detach from your neck, cold air meeting the newly formed bruise. 

Jean's hair brushes past your chin as he removes his face from the crook of your neck. He leans forward towards you, and you are unsure of whether or not he's initiating another kiss.

His eyes are just about to flutter shut before an alarming creaking sounds forces them to open, and they widen in shock. From your position lying down on the bed you can just about make the shape of a figure in the doorway. Jean lifts himself of off you swiftly, running his hand through his hair nervously. You follow his line of sight. 

It was Armin. His blue eyes were widened in shock as his cheeks blushed a bright red. Of course, just your luck. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this chapter is spicy as promised ,, i know it seems like things r going quickly but trust me i will provide yearning and slow burn, hope you enjoyed xx i love reading all ur comments and tysm for all the kudos, yall r too nice 😭


	13. Chapter 13

Armin had left as soon as he'd arrived, the door swinging shut behind him. He had mumbled some kind of apology before rushing to leave, and you weren't fully convinced that you hadn't just imagined it all. The grin on Jean's face assured you that it had in fact happened. 

You glared at him, angered by his nonchalant expression. 

"What, it's a good thing, let's hope he tells Eren and the others". Jean says smugly.

He was right, getting caught was more of a blessing than a curse when it came to you and Jean's overall objective. Still, that didn't stop it from being embarrassing. Looking up at Armin from underneath Jean wasn't really a situation you ever thought you would find yourself in. 

"Even if he doesn't, that's enough proof" He gestured towards your neck, where there was now a dark red mark blooming. 

Of course, that's why he did that. You felt stupid. Of course it was intentional. You had been so caught up in the moment you hadn't realised Jean's intentions. Too busy trying to prove yourself, or something along those lines, that you hadn't made the connection. He had given you the hickey on purpose, some kind of evidence that you and Jean's 'relationship' was an intimate one. 

Jean watched the way your eyes tried to search for the hickey your neck straining to get a better look. Of course it was impossible for you to look at it without a mirror, Jean had chosen a spot an inch below your ear. He smirked to himself, covering it would prove to be a nightmare. 

"How am I supposed to cover this? I have work and uni to go!" Your hands instinctively go to touch the mark, since your eyes had no way of reaching it. 

Jean doesn't answer you and just shrugged, the smirk permanent on his lips. 

You regretted not kicking him in the balls that short moment you had the advantage over him. 

You looked around his room, as though the average college boy's dorm would provide you with any kind of solution. 

Some of his clothes were draped hapharzadly on a chair, random colours and fabrics peeking out. A black sweater caught your eye. It was the one from the other day, the one he had worn on your 'double date' on Friday. You remember almost asking him where he had gotten it from, before you realised who you were talking to. You were struck with an idea. 

"What if you give me a shirt or a sweater so I can wear it on Friday?" You posed the question more to yourself than to him, still eyeing the sweater draped over his chair. 

A muffled swishing noise brought your focus back to Jean and it took you a moment to process what he was doing.

Oh. He was taking off his T shirt. 

He swiftly pulled the shirt over his head, uncovering himself in one move, and placed the shirt in your lap. 

Your eyes met his bare chest, where only moments ago a faded band Tee had been. Though you hadn't given the matter much thought you guessed that Jean worked out. Still, you were unprepared for what you saw.

Whatever you had imagined his chest would have looked like, you would have still been shocked. His chest was toned and sculpted, much more than you had expected. With his well defined abs and pecs he looked like some poster boy for fuckboys, the look complete with his chain necklace and tousled hair. You were possessed by a strange urge to reach out and touch his chest, but you shook your head, trying to physically shake away the thought. You looked away, trying to focus on anywhere else. Trying to get the image of his broad shoulders and the way that shadows played across his chest out of your head. 

Jean regarded your expression and your bashfulness was not lost on him. 

"Eyes up here" You weren't looking at his face, but you could hear him smirking. 

You sighed, you were too tired to argue with him. 

Jean sensed your silence and didn't make a move to provoke you further. 

"Well I guess I'll see you on Friday". You decisively got up from the bed, awkwardly pulling the t shirt up with you. 

You made your way to the door, and took a final glance back at Jean, finally meeting his eyes. 

They still possessed that devilish glint to them which made your stomach do a somersault. 

"See ya" He gave you a quick wave, leaning back on his bed. 

You pushed open his dorm door without looking back, as a million started running through your head. 

So much for having the upper hand, you looked like an absolute fool back there. He was probably laughing at you, proud of how flustered you had gotten. You couldn't deny that a line had been crossed, and now there was no going back. You had certainly been out of your comfort zone and he had taken advantage of that to tease you. You had to get back at him somehow, make him feel as uncomfortable as he had made you feel. 

Yes, you would get your revenge on Friday. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tysm yall for the comments ily guys!!! <3 <3 hope you enjoy x

**Author's Note:**

> heyy,  
> this is the first long x reader fic i have written so it might not be perfect. also im sorry if my depiction of the uni/college experience doesnt come across as authentic (ive spent my first year so far at home with my parents so i wouldnt know what its like). felt like writing this bc my crush on jean is unhealthy at this point. will try to update as regularly as i can. hope you enjoy x


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